


Hand in Hand

by TheQueenOfFish



Series: If I had a Choice [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Above Canon-Typical Descriptions of blood., Canon-Typical Violence, Chewbacca being pretty cool, Child Abuse, Children Acting very Violently, Description of character death, Force Bonds, Force Ghosts, Force Use, Gen, Han being a good Dad, Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, Leia being a good Mum, Light Side AU, Lots of Angst, Lots of Cute Stuff, Luke being a good Uncle, M/M, Nightmares, No Actual Character Death, X-wing Toys, good parents, lots of fluff, non-con mind reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:05:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7086562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenOfFish/pseuds/TheQueenOfFish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of being raised on the outer rim under the influence of the crumbling Empire and the growing First Order. Brendol Hux is raised on the core worlds. Age six he meets Ben Solo, a wild, excited, strange child. The two are instant friends. As the friendship develops and they grow up together Ben’s force powers continue to grow as do the sinister whispers in his head. Strange things start to happen to Brendol too, he is visited by the ghost of an old man, who tells him that it is he has a great destiny. The future is uncertain, but Ben and Brendol know one thing, whatever happens, they will face it together, hand in hand. “</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of Something

The first time I met Ben Solo I had just turned 8.

I tugged at the collar of my shirt, it was uncomfortable, but I had to wear it. Mother was going to tea with someone, and I had to come. I always had to come to see ‘important’ people with her, she said I had to come because of ‘politics’. I found some elements of politics fun, I like watching Senators debate (though not for very long amounts of time about the same thing, which they sometimes did), that was interesting. But going to tea was always so boring! I never understood half of what was said, and what I did understand was more boring than clothes shopping.  
“Now Brendol, you have to be on your best behaviour, Senator Organa has a son slightly younger than you, so I am sure you two can go off and play. But make sure you stay well behaved and polite the whole time, Okay?” she instructed, looking down at me sternly. I nodded.  
“Yes, Mother,” I replied, she smiled and leant down to kiss my head. She was smiling,  
“I know you will be an angel as always.”, I smiled back. I didn’t like the dinners, but I like going there. My father was never there, so I got time alone with Mother.

The transport came to a stop,  
“We are here Ma’am,” the driver said. Mother held my hand as we exited the transport and walked up to the house door. The house was modest compared to lots of places we had been before. As we reached the it was opened by a woman. She had long brown hair and was slightly smaller than my mother.  
“Greetings Madam Hux, it is a pleasure to see you again.” she greeted smiling, Mum stepped forward and they shook hands.  
“Likewise Senator Organa”. My mother put a hand on my back pulling me forwards,  
“This is my son Brendol Jr” she introduced me. 

The woman did something no other person we visited had ever done. Despite her white dress, she crouched. When we were at eye level, she offered her hand to shake mine. I took it and we shook.  
“Hello Brendol, it is good to meet you.” she sounded honest, and her smile was nice.  
“Hello, Senator it is good to meet you too” I replied.  
“My son Ben will be down in a minute, you two can play together, you won’t want to sit with us boring grown-ups will you?” she teased, I laughed stiffly and shook my head. The senator chuckled as well and then stood up. A moment later there was the sound of rushing feet and a small boy sped out of the house. He was wearing a cream tunic and had a mop of black curly hair, he was around a head smaller than me. Spotting me he rushed over.  
“Hi, my name is Ben,” he said, sticking out his hand, “What is yours?” I took his hand.  
“Brendol,” I replied. This boy was strange, unlike me and other children I knew who would act respectful and greet each other properly, he didn’t. He ran to greet us. If I ran in that situation I wouldn’t get dessert for a week.  
“Let's go play Brendol! I got a new X-wing set for my Birthday, but I haven’t had anyone to play with it.” the boy babbled excitedly. He looked up at his mother,  
“Can we go play Mama?” he asked, he was almost bouncing with excitement. She ruffled his hair,  
“If Madam Hux says that Brendol can” he replied. Ben blinked and turned to my mother and looked up at her as if seeing her for the first time. He stepped forward,  
“It is a pleasure to meet you Madam Hux,” he said not quite managing to hide the excitement under the calmness of his voice. He took her hand and laid a kiss on it. Mother laughed,  
“It is lovely to meet such a charming young man,” she replied, Ben gave her a toothy grin.  
“May me and Hux go play in my room?” he asked, Mother nodded,  
“Of course, you may.” Ben whooped and then ran back to the door. He looked back.  
“Come on Hux!” he called to me, he was jumping from foot-to-foot. HE waited a few seconds and then entered the house running once more. I followed walking. As I passed through the door I saw a man scooping Ben up in his arms.  
“That's my boy” he encouraged chuckling, holding Ben up and spinning him around. Ben laughed, “You get that charm from me ya know kid? Be grateful you did, it will get you out of many a scrape.” he told Ben, before seeing me. He frowned for a second before covering it with a strange smile.  
“You must be Brendol Hux,” he said, holding Ben on his hip. I nodded. He walked towards me. When they reached me he set Ben back down and then met my gaze.  
“I am Han Solo” he offered me a hand, I took it and shook it. He made a little shooing motion to Ben,  
“Off with ya, try not break anything,” he told us.

Ben ran up the stairs to the right,  
“Come on Hux!” he called, “My rooms this way.” I sped up my walking but didn’t run. A new X-wing set wasn’t worth being told off for. Though that is what I assumed, I had never had any kind of X-wing set new or old. My father disapproved of anything but education toys or equipment, he disapproved even more of the Resistance. I had seen the boxes in toy shop windows, and having seen a real X-wing once, part of me wanted one. But I never bothered to ask, knowing my request would be denied and I would be told off for having ‘stupid ideas’. 

Ben bounded through a door, I entered a couple of seconds later.  
His room was simple, not too large, but filled with life. A few toys on the floor, posters on the wall, shelves with objects on, books with exciting titles, a holo player. Ben was bending down and scooping the toys off the ground and placing them carefully in a cupboard. Then he drew out two X-wings, he turned.  
He was grinning, he offered me one.  
“There cool right? They look just like the real thing,” he exclaimed, I hesitantly took the plane. I looked at it carefully, Ben was right, they did look like the real thing. I looked back at Ben, he was still smiling. I smiled back, it was only a small smile, but when Ben saw it his eyes seemed to shine.  
“Yeah, they do look like the real thing.” I agreed.  
Ben grabbed two tie fighters out of the cupboard as well, handing one to me.  
“Where should they be?” Ben asked,  
“What do you mean?” I frowned.  
“Where in the galaxy?” he replied, I shifted on my feet awkwardly. I never normally had someone to play with, or any toys to play with. I had to play without toys. I had lots made up games for myself. I tried to think of somewhere interesting.  
“Dantooine," I said after a pause. Ben practically jumped for joy.  
“Yes! We are defending the rebel base from the Empire,” I nodded. Ben put on a gruff voice.  
“Pilots Solo and Hux, to your X-wings, two tie fighters have got through our shields. We need you out there,” he said urgently. He looked at me, I realised I had to continue the game.  
“Yes, Sir!” I replied.  
***  
“Hux you need to get him off your tail,” Ben warned, and the Tie continued to fire on me. I drew the nose up and looped around the Tie. Shooting it down, it crashed in a fiery explosion. Ben whooped.  
“Pilots Solo and Hux, return to base, you have saved the day.” the general said gruffly. Ben turned to me and gave me a high five. “We make a great team,” I smiled.  
“Yeah!”.

Suddenly Han appeared at the door,

“Come on pilots, cake in the sitting room,” he ordered. I carefully gave both planes back to Kylo, who put them away. We went down the stairs. We went and sat on a sofa in the living room, and I quietly drank some juice and ate some cake as the adult continued to talk around us. 

Ben seemed happy to sit leaning against his Father and listen. The casual contact between them made jealousy grow in my heart. After around half an hour the adults wrapped their conversation up.  
“It was wonderful afternoon Senator, you are simply a wonderful host, I hope we can repeat this in the future.” she said politely.  
“The pleasure is all mine Madam Hux, I am always happy to host people with such good company and lovely children,” she replied, and smiled down at me. At this point, Ben spoke up,  
“Can Brendol come round next week Mama, please? Please?” Ben asked looking up at the Senator with big eyes. She laughed,  
“I will try and arrange it with Madam Hux,” she responded fondly. Ben’s head snapped to me, he looked like a puppy. So eager, he wanted to, to see me again.  
“Does that sound nice Brendol?” Mother asked. Left shocked by Ben’s face, I wasn’t sure how to react, so I smiled at Ben.  
“Yeah.”

***  
The next week I found myself becoming a pilot once again. Playing in Ben’s room, almost running. I laughed, really hard at a joke Ben told me. I had never laughed so hard before. My chest felt really warm, in a way that I had never felt before. After when we sprawled out on Ben’s bed. He turned to me,  
“Brendol, we are friends, right?” he asked quietly. He wasn’t smiling, unlike almost every other second I had known him, instead, he looked scared. I didn’t like it.  
“Of course,” I said casually. Looking away and tugging at my shirt sleeve. He looked up, face full of hope.  
“Really?” he asked, I looked up.  
“Yeah.” I gave him a small smile. He gave me a toothy grin back.

And that was that.  
***  
I sat on Ben’s bed watching the holo-projector with him, we were watching a program about a space smuggler. It was quite fun. I never got to watch this kind of thing at home, Father only ever allowed me to watch documentaries on our holo-projector. Apart from the shouts and music on the holo-projector the house was quiet.

Suddenly a roar rang through the house, I jumped, breath catching. What was that?! Ben let out a whoop. I looked at him. He wasn’t scared, (which was surprising considering how easily Ben became scared watching holos), in fact, he was excited. He immediately paused the program and got up off the bed.

“Come on Brendol, Uncle Chewie is back!” he yelled, I got up and followed Ben as he sped through the house. When I got down into the hall, I saw it.

The creature was large, and it terrified me. Ben was not scared, neither was Senator Organa or Han Solo. The adults were standing talking, and Ben ran up to it.

“Chewie!” he shouted as he barrelled towards him. The creature turned and scooped Ben easily up. Growling deeply. I was frozen to the spot.

Then something even stranger happened, instead of like Han and the Senator just talking in the common tongue, Ben started to yowl and growl to the creature, who responded. Ben looked back at me, and then yowled, before crying,  
“Brendol!” excitedly. The creature fixed it’s eyes on me, I almost ran. At this point, Leia seemed to realise my fright at this 7ft tall hairy monster.  
“Brendol” she called, “This is our very good friend Chewbacca, he is a Wookie. And though he can seem rather intimidating he has a heart of gold” she promised smiling. I swallowed, as Chewbacca turned to the Senator and growled,  
“Oh be quiet Chewie, Brendol has never met a Wookie before so you are scary to him, now be nice.” she scolded. Chewie grunted before lifting a huge hand and waving at me. Ben growled at Chewie again. I came slightly closer.

“Senator Organa, what is Ben doing?” I asked her, she laughed.  
“Ben is speaking to Chewie in Shyriiwook, which is Chewie’s native language. Han and I can only understand Shyriiwook not speak it, but because Ben grew up around Chewie he can speak it. I don’t even know how he makes half the sounds.” he told me smiling. I laughed softly. I watched Ben talk to Chewie in Shyriiwook for a few more minutes before Ben hugged him and the creature set him down.

Ben turned to me, smile bigger than ever.  
“Sorry for talking for so long but Chewie was away for a whole month visiting his home planet. So I really missed him. We can go back and watch the holo now, or play.” he said and we went back to his bedroom.  
“How do you speak Shyriiwook?” I asked as we sat down on the bed. Ben shrugged,  
“I have been able to for as long as I can remember,” he told me. I nodded,  
“Do you think you could, teach me some?” I ask shyly. Ben nodded grinning,  
“Of course!” he replied.

The next few hours were spent with me trying to fit my mouth around the syllables of basic Shyriiwook, as Ben encouraged me. At the end, I was still terrible, but could just about manage and intelligible ‘Hello’. We both found my butchered attempts funny. I went home stomach aching from laughing.

***


	2. All of You.

***  
I shifted on my feet, I had been standing for what felt like an age. I was at a party with my mother and father. Father had gone off to talk to some other man, but I had stuck with Mother as she circulated the party. I knew there would be kids here, I didn’t want to go find them, I hated groups of children my age. My mother put her hand on my shoulder as she guided me to the next conversation. When we reached the destination I actually recognised the other adult. It was Senator Organa. She greeted my mother politely and then saw me,  
“Hello Brendol, how are you good?” she asked kindly,  
“Very good thank you, Senator,” I replied,  
“Ben is here, I am sure he would be glad to see you,” she told me smiling. I looked up at my mother.  
“May I go find Ben please Mother?” I asked. She nodded,  
“I believe I saw a group of children near the window in that direction.” Mother said pointing,  
“Thank you, Mother,” I responded. 

I slipped through the crowds using my small height to slip between the adults easily. I emerged from the packed crowd into the outside of the room. Over by the window was indeed a group of children, I spotted Ben’s head of curls easily. The group consisted of children from about age 6 to age 11. The seemed to be discussing a game.  
“Ben you have to be the catcher again.” An older girl told Ben. She must have been 12 and seemed a to tower over him.  
“But I have been the catcher the last three times.” He protested.  
“We vote on the catcher Ben, and we voted you again. So you have to be it,” she told him stepped closer. Ben bit his lip,  
“It is not fair though,” he said quietly. 

By this point, I had reached the circle of children, out of the whole circle I knew Ben and a boy from the militaristic club I attended. His name was Grant and he was 2 years my senior. He was popular due to his cruel, spiteful nature. When I stepped into the circle, he cracked a smile. Loner I may be at that club, but push over I was not. We were encouraged to pick on ’weak’ classmates, I had proven myself not to be one, the way I did it stayed in the minds of all of my peers. I knew that I was considered an important person to be in good with, due to both my Father, my show of strength, and the cruelty I was capable of. I didn’t enjoy the club, and I didn’t enjoy being cruel. But both were expected of me from Father. Father was not a man anyone wanted to disappoint.

“Hey Hux.” he greeted and gave the girl at his side a conspirator's smile. “I didn’t know you were here. You are welcome to join in our game of catcher, but Ben is ruining our fun,” he told me. He expected the cruelty he had come to associate me with. But Ben turned and looked at me, eyes welling with tears, tears he was trying not to shed.  
“We voted him to be the catcher but he is protesting like a baby.” Grant said sneering at Ben. Ben clenched his hands. I said nothing just looked at Ben with a neutral expression, I knew that showing weakness in front of Grant would lower my status at the club as word would quickly get around.  
“I think if he doesn’t want to be catcher we shouldn’t let him play, what do you think Elise?” he asked the girl. Elise smiled cruelly,  
“I think that is a great idea Grant, I am not sure why we even allow this freak to play with us in the first place.” she taunted. A tear fell from Ben’s eye.  
“What do you think Hux?” Grant asked, his smirked fixed on Ben. Knowing that my dismissal of him would make Ben cry. He caught my eye, expression victorious, as if we had the same goal, and were winning the same battle. I stepped forwards into the circle, closer to Ben. Ben’s eyes were begging me to help. I heard his voice in my mind,  
‘Brendol, we are friends, right?’ As I took another step forwards I could hear Grant’s victory crowing, he thought I would threaten Ben, or push him. He never expected my actual actions.

I allowed my cold vacant mask to something gentler. Then I offered Ben a hand. He blinked shocked at my action.  
“Come on Ben, let’s go play without these idiots,” I told him smiling. Ben’s face lit up in relief, and then he smiled. All the status I had just lost was worth it for this smile full of warmth. He took my hand, I started to lead him out the circle to get him out of Grants way.  
“What did you just call us?” Grant demanded stepping into my way.  
“An idiot Grant, or you deaf as well as stupid?” I asked him sneering,  
“You don’t even know what I am going to do to you for that comment,” he growled squaring up and stepping closer. I heard Ben’s scared intake of breath. I wasn’t scared, and I wasn’t going to let him hurt Ben. I met his gaze,  
“You won’t do anything unless you want me to do to you what I did to Vex.” I hissed. His eyes widened, remembering the incident.  
“Fuck you, Hux,” he growled but stepped back and let us pass.  
“Fuck you too Grant” I called over my shoulder.  
“What are you doing!” I heard Elise ask Grant, angry that the 10-year-old had just given way to some two years younger.  
“He isn’t worth fight Elise. Trust me” I heard Grant say as I pulled Ben away, leading him round the room to the other side. When we got there I pulled him behind one of the long curtains. When I turned to Ben there were still a few tears on his face. 

I pulled a tissue out of my jacket and offered it to him. Ben took the tissue a wiped his nose and eyes. He smiled at me though his eyes still watered.  
“Thanks, Brendol,” he said sniffing. I felt angry, not with Ben but with the other children.  
“That’s not the first time Grant and Elise have done this, is it?” I asked,  
“No,” he said softly. The anger grew,  
“Why do you still play with them then?” I snapped, Ben’s face fell at me snapping. He shrugged,  
“Otherwise I have to be alone, that’s worse,” he told me looking at the floor. I heard that the tremble in his voice had returned. I hated myself for causing it.  
“Ben,” I said. He continued to look at the floor. “Ben” I repeated more softly, “Look at me”. Ben raised his head, two new tear tracks had appeared.  
“You are not alone, I am your friend, remember?” I told him, Ben sniffed.  
“Brendol, I” Ben tried, still crying. Sighing I took the tissue from Ben’s hand and wiped his eyes gently.  
“Don’t cry, I won’t let them pick on you anymore, okay?” Ben nodded, more tears fell as his curls bobbed.  
“I am sorry Brendol,” he said thickly.  
“Don’t apologise, Ben, you haven’t done anything wrong,” I told him. He gave me a thick smile.

I sat down so I was looking out of the window, it looked out over the city, Ben sat beside me. We sat and looked out at the planes and crafts zoom by. After a few minutes, Ben had stopped crying completely.  
“Hux,” he said quietly. I turned to him.  
“Yeah.” He gave me a smile.  
“Hux, what does ‘fuck’ mean?” he asked, my eyes widened as I realised I had sworn at a public party.  
“Ssh.” I hissed. He laughed at my reaction. Suddenly I felt lighter, Ben was laughing.  
“Is it a bad word?” he asked “like ‘shit’” he whispered. I nodded.  
“Don’t let anyone here you say fuck though it is a lot worse,” I told him, before pausing. “I don’t like using it” I confessed.  
“Why did you say it then?” Ben asked. I shrugged,  
“He said it so I had to say it back.”  
“Oh,” Ben said. 

He smiled, the full brightness of the smile back.  
“What are we going to play?” he asked. I thought for few moments before I picked a game that I played on my own sometimes.  
“Spies,” I told him, Ben looked delighted.  
“I have never played that!” he told me excitedly. “What is it about?”  
“Well we are spying for the Resistance, and we have to gather information and sneak around” I explained,  
“Sounds cool!” he exclaimed, jumping up and offering me a hand. I took it, and I was helped up. 

Ben grinned, and I smiled back. 

***  
There was a knock on my door, I looked up from the maths I was doing. I had finished my tutoring for the day. But I still had after school work. Mother opened the door.  
“Hello Brendol.” she greeted walking over to my desk.  
“Hello Mother” I replied, she looked over my shoulder.  
“How is your work going?” she enquired.  
“Well, thank you, Mother. I am almost finished.” I informed her.  
“I am sorry to interrupt you my smart boy, but your Father wants to see you in his office,” she told me softly. That sentence filled me with pride and dread. What had I done to be called to his office?  
Mother sensed my apprehension,  
“Don’t worry Brendol, he just wants to ask you about Ben,” she told me. I frowned,  
“Why?” I asked.  
“He wants to check that you are using Ben for power like he would,” she explained. That made sense, from what I had seen and Mother had implied, Father had no friends. Just allies and people he used. 

Mother wrapped her arm around my shoulder.  
“Don’t worry about how you feel, just worry about want he wants you to,” she told me. I nodded. She released her hold on me, and I left the room with her. We walked through the house to the corridor that contained Father’s study. She pressed a kiss to my head and left me to walk down the corridor to his office. If he knew she came with me she would be accused of ‘coddling’ and ‘spoiling’ me, and I would be accused of ‘weakness’ and ‘sentiment’. 

I reached the intimidating door to his study. I knocked once.  
“Come in.” I took a deep breath. I opened the door to his study. I stepped in, I walked 5 paces into the room. Close enough to show attentiveness but far enough to show respect.  
“You wished to see me, Father,” I said, keeping my eyes down looking at the back of his chair. Eyes low enough to show respect and not meet his eyes, but high enough to show that I was listening.  
“Yes, you have been spending quite a lot of time at Senator Organa’s house with her son, correct?” he questioned, as if daring me to disagree.  
“Yes, Father,” I responded. He continued to write at his desk, not turning round.  
“I wanted to know why this was Brendol,” he demanded, voice still icy cold.  
“I consider her son an important ally Father, I considered it to be a good use of my spare time to cultivate my relationship with him. I thought he would be likely to take up an important position in the future due to his family.” I explained. I tried to keep my voice blank and respectful. There was silence for a few moments.  
“That is not a terrible idea like most of yours are. Make sure you make a good impression on the Senator, she does not trust me. Proving yourself to her may help me. You are not to offend the Senator and her family, if you do I will not allow you to interact with them anymore, is that clear?” he told me coldly.  
“Of course Father,” I responded.  
“Dismissed.” 

I left Father’s study with a sense of achievement, I had fooled him. I had kept my nerve. I smiled.  
***  
I started to go over to Ben's house with more and more frequency. It started as once a week, but by the second month it was twice and after the third it was three times a week at least. 

I enjoyed Ben’s company a lot. I found that all my playing alone allowed me to come up complex battle ideas, Ben always played along. After I had known him around two of months he got a third Tie fighter. Ben showed it to me, so excited he was bursting at the seams. I, however, was sceptical. How would we play with a third, we only had two hands each.

“But Ben how can we hold it, we would have our hands full?” I questioned, Ben gave me a mischievous grin. And then the plane lifted off the ground. I fell over. I yelped as the tie flew in a circle. Ben laughed at my reaction.  
“How?” I gasped.  
“The force,” he stated, he offered me a hand up. I didn’t take it.  
“What do you mean ‘the force’ “ I questioned looking up at him, he seemed to deflate slightly. He shuffled in place,  
“You know, the force, what Jedi’ use,” he said awkwardly. My eyes widened,  
“You can use the force?” I asked disbelievingly. Ben bit his lip and nodded,  
“I thought you knew, I mean, everyone normally does, cause of my mum and uncle and stuff,” he muttered and looked away. The knowledge I had always had dawned on me. He was the son and General Organa, the nephew of Luke Skywalker, and grandchild of Darth Vader. I just sat there dumbly. Ben fidgeted,  
“I won’t do it again” he blurted out, “Just still be my friend” he pleaded as his eyes welled up. I blinked,  
“I,”  
“Sorry for scaring you, I won’t do it again I promise Brendol.” A tear slipped down his cheek. The tear snapped something inside of me. I shook my head,  
“Idiot, of course I am still you friend,” I told him, words harsh but voice strangely gentle. I got up off the floor. Another tear slipped down Ben’s cheek.  
“Bren, I-I” he stuttered.  
“The force sounds cool, it is amazing that you can make that Tie look like it is actually flying,” I told him, he sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Being a year older than Ben I was taller, and he looked up at me eyes still watery and nodded. I moved on instinct. I stepped forward and hugged Ben. He clutched at me and hugged back tightly,  
“Don’t worry Ben, I don’t care you have the force,” I whispered. A statement that could be seen as rude, dismissing his talent. But it was what Ben needed to hear. And he clutched tighter.  
“You’re my only friend.” he confessed into my shoulder.  
“You’re my only friend as well,” I replied, hugging him and somehow never wanting to let go. I had never hugged anyone except my mother.  
“Do you really not care?” Ben muttered. I held him tighter.  
“No, anyone who does is stupid.” I told him remembering the other kids at the party, I heard Elise’s voice ‘Freak’. Anger welled up in my chest, Ben tensed.  
“Don’t be angry.”, I blinked, how did he know.

“How do you know?” I asked. Ben looked up at me,  
“Sometimes I can, feel the emotion if I am near someone and I’m upset. I can tell you are angry, I don’t know why, I promise I am not spying in your head, but I can’t help feeling it.” I calmed myself.  
“Not angry at you Ben, sorry.” I reassured him, “Just angry at Grant and Elise.” I pulled away slightly to look in Ben’s shining eyes. He was no longer crying.  
“Do you want to play with the new Tie?” I asked. He smiled,  
“Yeah”, Ben pulled away and pulled an X-wing and Tie and handing them to me. Then he took the other two, he turned to the Tie on the floor. It lifted up from the ground and flew up to head height, it circled my head. I laughed and smiled at Ben. He seemed to glow with happiness. 

Looking at him, I realised he was worth protecting. Ben was full of light, but he was fragile like a delicate cup. There were lots people trying to break him, to snap the cup and let the goodness go to waste on the floor. I wouldn’t let the world take his goodness away.

***  
“Hux, come to the drawing room please,” Mother called, I closed the book I had been reading, I stood up. I exited my room and walked down the corridor, I entered the drawing room. Mother smiled as I walked towards her.  
“My Brendol, come give Mother a kiss,” she said looking at me fondly. I reached her, she drew me into a hug, and I kissed her cheek. She cupped my face in her hands,  
“You are doing well Brendol, living up to your blood.” She told me. I was confused, how could I be, Father claimed I was a disappointment.  
“How am I am Mother? Father says I am a disappointment.”, she laughed and stroked my hair.  
“Brendol can you keep a secret from your father?” she asked, I nodded.  
“Of course Mother,” I promised.  
“Your Father has no idea what he is talking about, you should not be living up to his standards, but rather my example and my blood.” Mother explained. I frowned.  
“I don’t understand mother,” I said. She kissed my forehead.  
“You will when you’re older my child, you are doing well, trust me.” I nodded.  
“Thank you, Mother,” I replied, pride and happiness swelling in my chest in a way they rarely did.  
“I called you in Brendol, not only to tell you that I am proud of you. But also to say that Senator Organa is asking on the behalf of Ben if you will be coming to the party with me tomorrow.” she informed me, I couldn’t stop the warm feeling in my chest growing even more at the mention of both her pride and Ben. I smiled up at her, actually properly happy. She ran a hand through my hair.  
“I am glad of your friendship, our destinies have been crossed with the Skywalker’s for the last three generations.” she picked up the datapad next to her. “So what shall I say?” she asked.  
“Could you say that I will be there please?” I ask politely, “And ask the Senator to tell Ben that I can’t wait to see him again.” Mother laughed lightly, I blinked realising my outburst of feelings. I felt myself flush.  
“I am truly glad you are his friend, you seem to make each other happy” she laughed and then tapped out a reply. “All done. How about you go get the book you were reading and we can read it together.” She suggested I nodded and went to get the book. I felt like I was overflowing with something good for once. Not like the darkness that set in my chest when I was with Father. It felt almost like a small fraction of Ben’s light. 

***


	3. The Way You Wept

Entering the party I kept myself composed, Father could not see that I was glad to see Ben. He would be angry at the idea of an actual friendship with him. So I waited till he had left Mother and me. Before I ask permission to slip off into the crowd. I made my way through the crowd till I reached the scattered guests near the edge of the big room. I walked around the room looking for Ben, I didn’t see him in the crowd or around the edge, I had seen Senator Organa. So Ben must be here somewhere. I walked round the room again looking for any trace of Ben. I saw two boys standing at the end of a corridor, the stood awkwardly, eyes darting about. I caught one of their eyes, he stepped back, as if he was scared. He was one of Grants lackeys from last time. Fear started to creep into my heart. I walked towards them, the stand their ground but clearly didn’t want to.  
“Where is Ben?” I ask, anger seeping into my voice. The boys were scared, but not quite enough to tell me.  
“Why should we know where that freak is?” the one who was taller than me asked.  
“Ben is down that corridor,” I stated, somehow I could feel his presence ahead. I reached out to him. I could feel him. Ben was scared. Anger and fear surged through me. I could feel the adrenaline rush through me.  
“You will let me through!” I hissed and pushed past the boys. They didn’t stop me. I walked the first two metres but I felt Ben’s fear even more strongly, I broke into a sprint. I reached out towards Ben with, with something.  
‘Ben!’ I called out to him.  
‘Brendol!’ I heard Ben’s voice in my head. I sprinted around the corner.  
‘I am coming Ben, I am coming!’

I rounded another corner, I saw Ben at the end of the corridor. Two other boys were holding his arms behind his back, Grant was standing in front of Ben partially blocking my view of Ben. Off to the side, Elise stood laughing. Grant kneed Ben in the stomach. Ben screamed. I saw red for a second. One of the other boys saw me, pelting at full speed towards them.  
“Grant, look behind you.” one yells, he started to turn when I was about five seconds from colliding with him. He turned and saw me just as I collided at full speed with him.

I knocked Grant to the full in one painful moment, his head cracked against the floor. I knew he would be on the offensive at once, I didn’t let him have a breather. I punched him hard in the cheek. His eye rolled back for a second. I punched him again. I heard a scared voice.  
“Brendol!” I ignored it and punched again splitting his lip.  
“Bren!” the voice called again. I looked up.

I saw Ben standing a few feet away. The boys had released him I could vaguely hear them running away. His face was stained with tears and spit. He was still scared. They had gone, why was he still scared. I looked down at Grant’s face he was blinking up at me in a punch-induced daze. His lip was bleeding, you could tell he would have a least one black eye. Then I looked back a Ben, he was still trembling. He was still crying. It dawned on me, Ben was scared, of me. I gulped. I took a deep breath banishing the anger as much as I could.  
“It is okay Ben,” I said, voice shaking with, with something. I looked down at Grant, I grabbed his chin. Ben gasped.  
“Look, Grant,” I hissed “If you ever hurt Ben again I promise it will be a thousand times worse than this.” I threatened. “Do you understand?”. He nodded.

I stood up from his chest. I turned to the still frightened Ben and offered my hand. He was shaking.  
“Let's go Ben,” I coaxed with a shaky smile.  
“Bren, you, you’ve got blood on your hands,” he whispered. I looked down and examined them. So I did. I gave him a weak smile.  
“Let's go find the refresher then.” I offered, he nodded weakly. I looked around seeing a corridor leading off this one, there was a sign point to the nearest one. I beckoned Ben and we went down it. Away from Grant. We reached the refresher. Ben was still scared I could feel it. When we went inside he looked at himself in the mirror blankly. I washed the blood of my knuckles, I had grazed one, and the other had Grant’s blood on. I scrubbed it off and turned to Ben. He tried to smile. I got some tissue. I wiped the worst the wetness off. The spit clearly wasn’t his. Someone had spat in his face, how dare they. I threw the dirty tissue away and wet a clean one. I wiped Ben’s face tenderly.  
“Are you okay?” I asked as I wiped his cheeks gently.  
“I think so.” He said softly.  
“I am sorry for scaring you” I apologised, he bit his lip.  
“I glad you saved me,” he said softly. “I was glad you punched him the first time” he confessed. Then he looked at his hands. “But the second time I got scared, I thought you weren’t going to stop.” his voice trembled. I tried to smile reassuringly.  
“I was, I was just angry, I got even angrier when he hit you. Sorry.” I whispered. Ben stroked my cheek.  
“Don’t cry” he pleaded, I blinked. I hadn’t noticed. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. The room got blurry through the rapidly falling tears. I reached for Ben. He reached for me. We hugged tightly, crying on each other's shoulders. After a few minutes, we both gradually started to stop. Ben laughed weakly.  
“Is it weird that I feel better after crying?” he asked. I shrugged and didn’t let got.  
“Thank you for saving me,” he whispered.  
“Thank you for stopping me” I whispered back.

 

***

As soon as I entered the club the classroom on Saturday I knew I was in trouble. Grant’s head snapped to me, he had a nasty black eye, he looked at me with hatred and distaste. Then he smiled cruelly. Ignored him, showing no reaction. I walked and sat at my seat on the front right corner. Though I showed no outward reaction I was worried. I had humiliated Grant, twice. There was no chance that I was getting away with it this time. There was no avoiding the confrontation that would happen at break in an hour and a half. But I could choose the place, or, at least, I hoped I could. For one moment I cursed my actions, then I remembered Ben’s scream, his tears, and once again anger burned in my chest. Grant still hadn't paid enough for the tears he had caused Ben. I took a deep breath, trying to cool my anger. This didn’t work completely so I used the method that always worked best to calm my anger, I shut my eyes and gathered the anger up in my mind and then pushed. After a few seconds, it dissolved, leaving me feeling at peace. When I open my eyes I was ready to concentrate both on the lesson and on what I would do at break. Though I couldn't stop the coming events completely I could try and keep the damage to a minimum. After all, I was going straight to Ben’s house after this, the last thing I wanted to do was turn up looking like I had been in a fist fight.

***

“Lesson over. Be back from break on time.” The instructor commanded.  
“Yes Sir” we responded. I took off my jacket before leaving the room quickly, my jacket would not get dirty, and I could put it on over my shirt and not remove it at Ben’s. I decided whatever happened I wouldn't let Ben see me like he had at the party again. I didn't want him to see that side of me.

I left before Grant, I knew he would follow, probably at least with two other guys. After all, Grant wasn’t the sort to play fair. He would rather have his victims helpless. That thought almost led me to the unhelpful thought of Ben with his arms forced behind his back. Instead, I imagined his smile. It made me feel braver.

I walked out of the building into the playground and them around the back. I decided that though around the front the instructor might intervene if Grant went too far, but my humiliation would be witness by the whole school and it was more likely that others would join in. Around the back was defiantly best. I could feel Grant’s presence behind me, and two others. Three, I could do some damage back to three. When I reached the back of the school I turned round to face them.

There they stood, Grant smirking, I looked back blankly, showing no emotion. Grant pointed at me,  
“Restrain him,” he commanded. The two ten-year-olds rushed at me. I fought back best I could, with hands, nails, elbows, knees, feet, teeth. I landed several punches and kicks on both of them. But one of their punches caught me straight in the jaw, my head snapped back painfully. They took the opportunity of my moment of weakness to pull my arms behind my back. I continued to struggle as Grant approached. He was smirking cruelly.

“Coward.” I spat. “Couldn’t even muster up the courage to help restrain me yourself.”  
Grant punched me.  
“Shut up weakling.” he hissed. I laughed and spat out some blood.  
“Don’t forget that I beat you up with no help.” I taunted. That got me a knee to the stomach.  
“I thought you were strong Hux, but siding with a weakling and a freak, like Ben Solo it just shows your true weakness and stupidity. After all not only is he a weak loser he is also a crybaby.” Grant gloated.  
“Ben is a better, stronger person than you will ever be,” I told Grant before spitting at him.  
“You shit” he hissed and kicked me again. And again. Apart from a few grunts I kept my face straight and mouth shut. Father had said before that you could judge a man on how well he toke a beating. And I could take a beating silently and without tears. After a few more kicks and punches to the stomach, Grant growled in frustration. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a two-inch flip blade. I hadn’t expected that. Though beating was encouraged, knives were forbidden. I swallowed. I wouldn’t show fear.

Grant yanked my shirt up and drew the blade across my stomach, I gritted my teeth and bore the pain. He didn’t cut very deep, he couldn’t risk seriously hurting me. He cut a second slightly deeper cut and I gasped, breath starting to speed up. He then pressed the edge harder into one spot. I let out a yell, not struggling in case I pushed it deeper. Grant laughed at this.

I felt the two boys holding me tense up. I looked up, and behind Grant was our instructor.  
“Grant, you know knives are banned, I am ashamed that you would disobey school rules like that, and that you feel the need to use a weapon.” he snapped. Grant spun round and looked up in slight fear.  
“If you cannot beat Hux with your own hands you shouldn’t try at all” he shouted. He slapped Grant across the face. The Instructor nodded at the two boys holding me.  
“I am appalled that you two would allow such a breach of rules to happen in your presence. I am also ashamed that you are holding back the arms of a man so he can be beaten. You shouldn’t restrain your enemies under your own strength or not at all!” he bellowed. They almost shook in fear. This pleased me, along with the fact I no longer had a knife pressed into my skin.  
“Release Hux immediately, you will then all come to the office with me where will inform your parents of your disgraceful behaviour,” he shouted. The boys released me and I proudly remained standing. They all looked scared at this prospect, no worse punisher than one's own father. Grant turned to look at me,  
“You have permission to go to medical Hux,” he told me.  
“Yes Sir, thank you Sir” I replied. The instructor turned and started to leave and so did the other two boys.

Before Grant could move I sprang at him. I punched him as hard as I could in the nose, slamming my fist up. There was a crack. Grant staggered back, screaming. And his nose started bleeding violently.

The instructor turned and saw this he sighed.  
“Grant, I cannot believe this, how could you let your guard down so much! Are you always this much of a disappointment!” he yelled. I saw the emotional and physical pain in his eyes.  
“I am impressed, Hux.” The Instructor called as he hauled Grant away.

I slumped against the wall trying to ignore the bruises and cuts littered along my stomach and ribs. I would go to the bathroom, clean the cuts and put paper over then to stopped them staining my shirt. Going to medical was a sign of weakness I could not afford. As I walked through the playground all eyes turned to me, everyone had some idea of what I had just happened, and due to Grant’s nose it looked like I had won. I wasn’t sure if that was true, but that was what would be said. And that was what mattered.

When I got to the refresher, I washed off the blood on my hands and cleaned the cuts. I smoothed down my hair and washed my face. It almost looked as though I had not been in any fight or incident at all. However, my grazed knuckles showed something had happened and there was a spot of blood on my shirt. When I got back to class and put my jacket on it was almost as if nothing had happened at all. I smiled, Ben didn't have to know. I remembered being in the refresher with him, his arms wrapped around me. It had made me feel, safe, in a strange way. I wished he was here to hug me now. That thought threatened to make my eyes water so I banished it. I would see Ben soon, just the last hour and a half of the morning left. I walked back to class. Face blank and composed as I tried to block out the pain.

***

As I sat in the speeder, I took deep breaths. I was fine. I would be fine. No one had to know till I got home. I was having lunch with them and spending around 3 hours at Ben’s house. I could do that, time always went so fast with Ben, his happiness and our games always seemed to speed time up to an unfairly fast rate. I smiled, it was a small smile but I had managed it through the pain.

The speeder arrived at Ben’s house and I opened the door and stepped out. Before I could get half way to the door Ben ran out of the house. Huge grin on his face, as he sped towards me. He slowed just before he reached me, and then hugged me tightly. I hugged back, suppressing the gasp at his arms squeezing at the fresh bruises.  
“Bren!” he said, looking up at me with such a happiness. I smiled back, Ben’s light seemed to be infectious.  
“Hey Ben” I replied. He buried his head in my shoulder.  
“Missed you,” he said softly. Something that could seem ridiculous, I had seen him two days ago after all But it wasn’t, I had missed him two. This morning more than ever.  
“Missed you too,” I whispered.

I looked towards the door and saw Leia looking at us, an expression of fondness on her face. I smiled at her nervously. She smiled back,  
“Come Brendol, you must be hungry. Lunch is done,” she called. Ben pulled away but took my hand. And together we walked into the house and through it to the dining room. We sat next each other and Ben didn’t let go of my hand till we started eating. Leia asked me about my morning, how it had been, I lied of course. Quite well, I thought. After all, most of it was true I just chose to say that it was good and leave out the beating.

After lunch, which was rather delicious, we went up to Ben’s room. Though it hurt, I had kept a straight face, even when the cuts really started to throb. I was doing well.

Ben smiled at me,  
“Bren, what should we play?” he asked eagerly. I shrugged,  
“You pick,” I told him, he pouted.  
“But I want you to pick, you always think of the most exciting things,” he replied, I thought for a second, trying to think up something new. Something that would make Ben smiled. But the pain was making it had to think of new ideas, but Ben was looking at me with hopeful eyes.  
“How about smugglers ?” I asked. Ben nodded gleefully. He ran over to the cupboard and withdrew two toy blasters. He skipped back and handed one to me.  
“Let’s play in the garden,” he suggested, as we went downstairs and into the garden I tried to think of where our game would take place. I was not paying too much attention to the placement of my feet, normally this wouldn't be a problem, but it had rained in the morning and the grass was still wet and slippery. One moment I was on my feet the next I was falling.

I hit the ground hard, it winded me. I gasped for breath for a second as the bruises and cuts were aggravated. I groaned in pain.  
“Bren!” Ben called. He rushed over as I was still gasping in pain. I tried to steady my breathing. He knelt beside me.  
“Are you okay Bren?” he asked. I sat up slowly and forced a smile onto my face.  
“Yep, probably just have a bruise now,” I replied. The concern disappeared replace by a grin. He stood up and offered me a hand up, I took it and he helped me up, with some difficulty as I was heavier. I went to brush myself down and realised that the left side of my jacket had grass and mud stains on. I sighed and started taking it off, Ben giggled at this.  
“It is weird seeing you dirty, you never normally are,” he said. I allowed myself a little laugh as well. I took the jacket off and started to turn to the house to ask Ben’s mother to take care of it till I was picked up. I started off toward the door. Ben didn’t follow.

I looked back, he was standing looking at me, he was pale, scared.  
“Ben?” I asked turning back, his eyes widened more. I realised he was staring at my chest. I look down. There were two big blood stains on the shirt. They were still wet.  
“Bren, why are you bleeding?” he asked voice shaking, he looked so scared. Oh maker.  
“Ben, it is okay,” I told him, but it sounded like the empty lie it was.  
“Mama, Dad!” he called voice panicked, no, no, no. In a second, I crossed the distance.  
“Shh Ben I am fine!” I hissed “They can’t know, Ben.” Ben was trembling.  
“But you are bleeding Bren, I have never seemed so much blood.” he said there was a pause as his resolved to call for help wavered for a second but then, “Dad!” he called again.  
“No Ben!” I snapped, “If they know they won’t let us be friends anymore! They can’t know!” I told him. There was no doubt in mind that if his parents found out how I was anywhere else they wouldn’t want me anywhere near Ben. I couldn’t lose Ben.

“We can’t know what Hux?” a voice snapped. It was Han Solo. I took a deep breath and turned around slowly. His hard suspicious expression was dropped and he gasped when he saw my blood covered my shirt.  
“Shit Brendol, what the happen to you?” he asked horrified. I looked down at my shoes. I couldn't meet his gaze. Somehow, I wanted Ben’s family to see me differently than the others. But now they would see how I really was. Not only was I a failure to the likes of my Father, never learning quick enough, never acting cruel enough. But now I would be hated by these people, for being everything my Father was, and wished for me. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t.  
“Ben, go get your mother and the medical kit, don’t come out until I call,” he instructed his voice harder than the one he used with Ben normally.  
“But” Ben protested, I looked at Ben and saw his eyes brimming with tears.  
“Go Ben,” Han said firmly. With one more look at me, Ben ran into the house.

“What happened Brendol?” he asked voice firm, but somehow not unkind, that made it worse. I almost wished he would just throw me out.  
“I was beaten, they used a knife,” I confessed, voice small. The shame and guilt and sadness started to overwhelm me. Talking to the smuggler with honour, and admitting to having none.  
“Who did this?” his voice was still calm.  
“Grant and two other boys at the Academy. Grant was the one with the grudge, the others are just his cronies. They held my hand behind my back.” I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I heard an intake of breath.  
“Why did he have a grudge?”  
“Because, because I gave him a black eye on Wednesday, when he tried to, to hurt Ben” I sobbed. There was silence. I heard movement and looked up. Han had knelt in front of me to be at my height.  
“Did he beat you up because you protected Ben?” he asked, I nodded as tear started to stream down my face.  
“Why was he hurting Ben?” he asked.  
“The first time I met Ben at a party Grant was picking on him, he thought I would join in. Didn’t know Ben was my friend. And I defended Ben, and insulted Grant.” I wiped my eyes to try and stop crying. It didn't work.  
“Should have, have known that the next time he saw Ben he would take it out on him. He kicked Ben, so I gave him a black eye. Should’ve of known that he would come after me. I made it worse after the instructor found us I broke his nose.” I cried. Somehow what felt like an achievement at the time felt so wrong now. Han would never let me see Ben again. With this thought, my sobs became body shaking.  
“And now, now you will never want me near Ben again.” I sobbed. This thought made me break and I wrapped my arms around myself as my body shook with sobs. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Han,  
“Don’t be silly kid, Ben needs friends like you,” he told me, eyes soft. It made me cry harder. “Leia, Ben” he called.

The back door immediately sprung open and Ben rushed through, he was crying and wrapped his arms around me. He sobbed into my shoulder and I cried into his shoulder. I heard Leia,  
“Han! There was no need to make Brendol cry!”she hissed at him.  
“Bren, Bren, why are you-you bleeding? Who?” he sobbed, gasping for breath.  
“Ben, Ben, Ben” I cried unable to say anything else.

Then I felt myself and Ben enveloped in a pair of arms. There was a smell of lavender, the arms were slender, but felt like they held untold strength. It was Leia.  
“Shhh, it will be okay, Brendol will be fine Ben, Brendol it’s going to be alright” she cooed. It made me cry harder. I felt so sad and ashamed, I didn’t deserve Ben or Leia’s hold. But they held me tight anyway. It scared me. I felt strange, I felt loved. I cried for a long time. Till my throat was raw and my eyes reddened. The whole time Ben and Leia held me. Ben’s hug was tight and he cried softly. Leia’s hug was reassuring.

After many minutes my crying started to stop, Leia pulled back slightly. I realised I didn't want her to. Ben still clung on, but he lifted his head from my shoulder. I clung back. Han tapped Leia’s shoulder, she stood up, and he leant in and whispered something into her ear. Her eye’s widened as she looked at me. I looked away, maybe she would be the one who would tear me away from Ben.

“Brendol,” Han said voice firm. I took a deep breath and let go of Ben, I stepped away. His eyes widened. He hadn't wanted to let go. But his parents wanted me out, no matter what Han had said. Leia must see the stupidity in having me around her wonderful son. Leia was smart, a princess, a general, a senator, she would see that I was nothing but trouble. I looked up at Han, he knelt to my height again.  
“Brendol, I want to thank you for stopping Grant hurting Ben,” he said sincerely, I screwed my eyes shut knowing my dismissal would come next. “You’re strong, but you gotta know when you need help, you don’t need to be scared coming to us, okay? You don’t even have to tell us what happened, you just can ask us to help you patch yourself up.” I was so confused, what was he saying? “So, will you let us see the damage and help Brendol?” he asked, I pried my eyes open.  
“Aren’t you kicking me out? Why aren’t saying I can never see Ben again?” I asked the few tears that I could still cry rolling down my cheek.  
“Oh maker, I don’t know why you think why would do that. But we aren’t going to. You got like this protecting my son. I don’t know if you think you are bad person, but protecting someone shows you aren’t.” he told me, I gasped for breath loudly.  
“Come ‘ere Kid,” he muttered, pulling me into a hug. I had never been hugged by a man before. Father never hugged. I cried my last few tears into his chest. I didn’t understand why they cared about me.

When I pulled away Ben was back at my side, hand finding mine. He was sniffing, and he pressed close to my side.  
“Brendol, let's go inside and you can sit down, and if you feel comfortable enough you can let us see the damage,” Leia suggested. I nodded.

***

I sat stiffly on the sofa, I didn't want to get blood on it. I looked at Ben, realising that his own shirt had been stained by the blood on mine. Leia came in with some tea, and Han came after carrying a medkit.

“Could you take your shirt off Brendol?” asked Leia, I bit my lip. Ben shouldn’t see it.  
“Ben, you shouldn't have to see this,” I told him, he shook his head determinedly.  
“Not leaving.” he stated, “I’ll shut my eyes if you want,” he said. I looked into his eyes. I didn't want him to leave.  
“Please,” I said softly. He shut them. I let go of his hand and unbuttoned my shirt. Leia stepped forwards to take the bloody mess once I shrugged it off my shoulders, she was clearly worried at the amount of blood.

My stomach was a mess of tissue and blood. Han opened the med kit, he pulled on a pair of gloves.  
“I am going to get this off okay, it will hurt as lots of the blood will of clotted. Okay?” he informed me.  
“Right” I replied my hand finding Ben’s. I gasped as Han pulled the tissue of my skin, trying not squeeze Ben’s hand too tight as the pulling broke the clotted blood over the cut. Han did this for all three pieces of tissue. I tried to keep my breathing steady.

After removing the tissue he wiped the blood of my stomach with a damp cloth. It had to be replaced near the end as it was turning bright red. When he finished this he wiped them with antiseptic cloth, before examining them.  
“You are lucky Kid, they aren’t that deep, won’t need stitches. Going to bandage them up now.” Han told me. As he got the dressing out Leia handed me some tea. I sipped it.  
“Can I open my eyes, Bren?” Ben asked. I squeezed his hand.  
“Not yet,” I answered quietly. He rested his head on my shoulder.  
“It was Grant wasn’t it?” he asked, I didn’t want him to know. But really he already did. Who else could it have been?  
“Yeah” I replied, he pressed himself closer.  
“Sorry that you got hurt because of me,” he said  
“No, I got hurt because Grant is horrible, not because of you,” I told him. He sniffed.

Han bandaged the cuts carefully, and then examined my ribs.  
“Got some nasty bruise but no internal damage,” he informed me as he pulled off the gloves.  
“Thank you Sir” I replied, he shook his head.  
“I am not ‘Sir’, just Han, Kid,” he told me, a crooked smile on his lips.  
“Thank you Han” I amended shyly. Han nodded and smiled before walking out of the room. Ben shifted against me, he was smiling.  
“That means he likes you,” he said softly. I frowned in confusion.  
“What do you mean?” I questioned.  
“He only calls me and Uncle Luke ‘Kid’,” Ben explained.  
“Oh”  
“Can I open my eyes now?” he asked me. I hadn’t even realised that he still had them shut. He was leaning against my shoulder, face still tear stained, but peaceful, and gentle smile on his face. I looked down at him for a few more seconds before speaking.  
“Yeah.

Ben opened his eyes, his smiled brightened as he met me gaze. I had no words for the swelling golden feeling of happiness building in my chest. But somehow we didn’t need any.

I knew he could feel my happiness and suddenly felt like I was drowning in Ben’s overwhelming happiness. Drowning in everything that made him Ben, all the light. I had never felt so close to someone as I did in that moment. I wasn’t alone. I knew right then, that Ben would always be with me. No matter what happened.

***


	4. When Destiny Call I Stand Firm With You.

 

When I left Ben’s house that evening I was still buzzing with happiness, I had to contain it. When we had dinner my father ‘congratulated’ me for my actions earlier in the day. I had to repress a shudder, I was not proud of my actions anymore. 

Later I was in my room sitting up in bed reading when a voice startled me,  
“Hello.”  
My head snapped up, I almost screamed.  
At the end of my bed was an old man, a blue-tinged slightly translucent man. A ghost. I had no breath, some part of me repressed the scream that was dying to leave my lips. I could not take a beating from my father right now.  
“I am not going to hurt you,” the man said voice soft. I took a deep breath.  
“What are you?” I whispered I pulled the covers around me tightly as if that would protect me from the ghostly spectre at the end of my bed.  
“I am as I seem, I am a ghost,” he replied.  
“Why are you here?” my voice was shaking.  
“Do not worry young one, I am not here to haunt you, or scare you. I want to thank you,” he told me a small smile on his lips.  
“Thank me?” I was slightly less scared now, but a lot more confused.  
“I want to thank you for protecting Ben, you have been very brave, shown great kindness and strength of character.” the man told me. I sat in silence absorbing his words. I had never been given such praise.  
“What is your name young one?” he asked,  
“Brendol Jr, what is yours?” I told him, I was still apprehensive of him. Maybe his name would help me now his intention.  
“My name is Ben Kenobi. Your friend Ben is named after me,” he informed me.  
“Oh”  
“That’s why I am here Brendol, you see the light in Ben, don’t you?” he asked, I nodded, thrown off guard by the strange question.  
“You also see how fragile it is?”  
“Yes, everyone wants to take it,” I told him, Ben laughed.  
“It must feel like that, mustn’t it. But there are a lot of people who are trying to stop that from happening, and now you are joining them.” He told me, his smile seemed fond. “You have that goodness inside you Brendol, do not doubt it. But your goodness is locked away in your heart to protect it from the evil in your life, but always remember it is there.”

I bit my lip, trying not to cry. This strange old ghost seemed to believe that I was good, like Ben.  
“It is okay young one, you have a great destiny, you and Ben. The force will guide you, do not worry,” he reassured, I was so confused.  
“But I don’t have the force” I blurted out, he chuckled.  
“The force guides us all Brendol, and you have more potential than you yourself can see,” he told me. “You will soon see, young one. Now, I can see this talk and the days events have upset you, shall I tell you a story to cheer you up?” he offered. I was getting more confused by the moment. Mother used to tell me bedtime stories, but then I could read. After that Father forbade her. I nodded. 

Ben Kenobi came closer and sat on the edge of my bed.  
“Lie down young one, I shall tell you a true story about my life. This was a time before the New Republic, and before the Empire. I was a young Jedi, a Padawan and had a Jedi master to guide me, Qui Jon Gin. We went on many adventures together. When I was around 15 we…” his voice was soft and gentle. I found my eyes starting to close as I drifted off, I tried to stay awake wanting to know the ending. I didn't manage it.

***

A few days past, but soon I was at Ben’s house, and he was speeding down the path towards me once again. I caught him in a tight hug.  
“How do you do that?” I asked, Ben cocked his head.  
“Do what?” he replied.  
“Always know when I am here.”, his eyes widened in realisation.  
“I can feel you through the force,” he told me, hand already gripping mine and pulling me into the house. We rushed past Leia, I had now got used to running in Ben’s house.  
“Good afternoon Senator Organa” I called as Ben pulled me along.  
“Hello Brendol, just call me Leia no need for formalities,” she told me. Her smile was fond, I smiled back over my shoulder.  
“Yes Leia,”. 

When we got into Ben’s room he rushed over to the cupboard. An X-wing sped towards me through the air before stopping just before me, waiting for me to pluck it out of the air. I took it. I turned it over in my hand.  
“How do you lift things with the force Ben?” I asked. Ben scrunched his brows together in thought,  
“I have always been able to. But I think about where I want it to go, and it does. If it is heavy I can use my hand to direct it.” he explained, then he ran over to the chair in his room. He beckoned me over,  
“Like this,” he extended a hand and slowly curled it up, the chair lifted smoothly off the ground. He set it back down gently. I turned the X-Wing over in my hands again. Ben K words came back to me, could I lift it?  
I laid it out on my palm. Then I concentrated on the toy, I brought my other hand up. I squeezed my eyes shut and imagined the X-Wing rising up off my palm. I felt a weight leave my hand, and my other hand felt strange. I opened my eyes. 

The X-Wing was hovering over my palm. When I saw it hanging in mid air I gasped. I lost concentration and it shook and fell an inch before I regained control. I was in shock.  
“Bren” Ben breathed, I wanted to look at him but I kept my eyes on the plane.  
“This is me, right? Not you?” I asked him scared of the answer.  
“I, I am not doing anything. How are you?…” Ben sounded breathless and confused.  
“The force?” I volunteered voice shaking.  
“Can you make it move?” Ben’s voice housed growing excitement. I tried. The plane glided off in a straight line, it didn’t look like a flying X-Wing like it did when Ben did it. But I was levitating something. I was levitating something. This thought broke my concentration again and it dropped only to be caught just before the ground. I couldn’t let Ben’s toy break. I lowered it gently to the ground. 

I turned to Ben. I was worried, maybe he would be angry or, or. 

Ben had a look of amazement on his face. I gave him a small smile. His face stretched into a massive grin, he grabbed my hand. I was pulled out of the room.  
“Mama, Mama, Mama!” Ben yelled as he dragged me through the house and down the stairs. We rushed into a room which I knew to be Leia’s office. 

Leia looked up from some papers.  
“Yes, Ben?” she said, she was smiling in a happy fond way. If I ever came into my father's study like that I would get a beating.  
“Mum! Brendol is like us!” he exclaimed. His hand squeezed mine. Leia raised an eyebrow.  
“What do you mean Ben?” she asked, she turned her bright smile on me. Ben grabbed a pen from the front of her desk and put it in my hand.  
“Show her!” he encouraged. I put my hand in front of myself. I shut my eyes. My heart was racing and so many emotions were running through me. Like Mother had taught me, I gathered the majority of them and pushed them out of my head. Calmness enveloped me. I imagined the pen floating above my palm. 

When I opened my eyes it was floating at my eyes line, I tore my eyes away from the pen and looked up at Leia. She was sitting there with her mouth hanging slightly open in shock.  
“How do you know how to do that?” she asked, voice hushed. Ben practically jumped in excitement.  
“I explained to him how I lift things and then Bren tried and he did it!” he gushed, Leia still looked shocked.  
“Not the pen Honey, while that is amazing, Brendol did something far more powerful before. What he did before didn’t you feel it?” she asked Ben. He frowned, as did I. What was she talking about?  
“The wave?” he asked her thoughtfully.  
“Yes,” she said softly. She was looking at me in some kind of amazement. I lowered the pen back onto the desk.  
“What?” I asked.  
“Brendol, what did you do before you lifted the object?” Leia asked. I didn’t understand how that had anything to do with the force.  
“I calmed myself down,” I answered.  
“How?” she probed gently. I shifted on my feet suddenly feeling uncomfortable with this level of questioning.  
“I, I gather all the emotion in my head and, and push.” I tried to explain.  
“Does it take any effort to do?” she asked me, I shook my head.  
“No, I feel better after I do it.”

Leia stood up and walked round the desk, a gentle but bright smile on her face. She knelt in front of me.  
“What you just described is a force meditation technique, and it is a lot more impressive than lifting the pen,” she informed me. I gazed at her in shock.  
“You are strong in the force Brendol, and that makes you even more special than I thought you were. Not only are you exceptionally brave, selfless, and kind, you can also use a force meditation technique.” she stroked over my hair. I smiled back, as my face flushed from the praise. Ben grabbed my hand and I looked at him. Ben was still grinning broadly.  
“I already knew he was special.” Ben beamed smugly, directing the words at his Mother. She laughed.  
“I just said I did to silly.” she murmured, “Anyone who protects his friends in such a way is a very special person, right Ben?” she said looking down at me.  
“Yeah!” He exclaimed. 

Leia bent down and pressed a kiss to my forehead like she had a few days prior. I heard a giggle and then there was a soft press on my cheek. Ben had kissed it softly. He looked up at me. Glee dancing in his eyes, I smiled. I hesitated before bending and pressing a kiss to his cheek. This made Ben laugh. Leia looked on adoration in her kind eyes. 

***  
After knowing Ben for slightly under a year, I thought about Ben, and why I felt such a strong bond with him. Ben was wonderful, that was the conclusion I came to. Ben was utterly, completely, wonderful. The kind of wonder that took your breath from you at the most unexpected moments. 

It was around the time that I came to this conclusion, that it started. 

***  
I woke up. There was something, I didn't know what. I wanted to scream, but my breath was coming out in gasped, I had not enough air to scream. For the first time in a long time, I was truly terrified. I scrambled for the light switch next to my bed, hands reaching out into the dark. My fingers found the switch. The room was flooded with light. It helped chase away some of the fear, but my heart still pounded. I tried to reason with myself ‘There is nothing to be scared of’. I wrapped myself up in my duvet and pressed my back against the headboard. I sat like that wide awake with unnameable fear. It took a long time to fall asleep, especially as part of me was terrified of going back to sleep.

***  
The next day, I saw Ben. He flew at me as soon as I exited the transport, already most of the way down the path. He hugged me tight and I held him back. After the fear of the night before his warm body in my arms felt like safety. When he pulled back I was dark circles under his eyes, they mirror the ones under my own.  
“Bad nights sleep?” I asked. Ben nodded but looked a bit embarrassed.  
“I had a nightmare,” he confessed.  
“Me too,” I told him, giving him a weary smile. He returned it.  
***  
The next week Ben was practically jumping for joy when I went to see him.  
“Bren! Bren! Uncle Luke is coming to stay!” he yelled embracing me.  
“As in, the last Jedi?” I asked,  
“Yes! Well, he is better than that stupid title makes him sound!” Ben practically yelled. I laughed as Ben hopped from foot to foot in pure excitement. “I can’t wait for him to meet you! And for you to meet him! He never comes to visit often enough, but he always comes for my birthday!” Ben gushed. My hand was grabbed and I was pulled into the house.  
“Mama!” he yelled as we stumbled into the kitchen. “Mama, can Brendol come for my birthday? Please? Please?” he begged Leia, who was standing cooking and looking amused.  
“Now Ben, you know that Birthdays are for family,” she said, Ben face fell, he looked like he was about to cry. I was about to comfort him and tell him that I didn’t mind, and that I would still buy him a present, that the next day we could pretend it was still his birthday. But then a grin split over Leia’s face.  
“So, of course, Brendol can come, all family must be in attendance after all.” There was a moment of silence where Leia smiled broadly at me, and then Ben whooped. Throwing his arms around my neck he smiled broadly.  
“Hear that, you’re family,” he told me. He rested his head on my shoulder, “My family.” I hugged back. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and tears pricked my eyes. Family.  
“Yeah, yeah, family,” I replied, a slight tremble present in my voice. 

Ben squeezed me, and something washed over me. It felt like a wave of happiness and joy and pure life had rushed over me and was lapping at the edge of my mind. I felt something from within me answer it, and Ben gasped as the same sensation rushed over him. I could feel Ben. From his eyes right down to his toes, for a second, I could feel everything, like I was him. 

When the wave retreated I felt better than I ever had before. Full of life. Ben looked up at me, face flushed, eyes wide, mouth smiling. I laughed, and so did he. 

When I looked up, Leia was looking at us with almost, almost fear. Ben looked over too.  
“Mama?” he asked, she blinked and suddenly she was smiling.  
“Yes, Ben? We will have to start planning what we will have now,” she told him. He started to babble excitedly, his mother’s expression forgotten. 

I didn’t.  
What was she afraid of?  
She wasn’t scared of anything, surely?  
Leia faced down the Empire, so what was so scary about me and Ben?

 

***  
I woke up. Breath fast, grasping for air. Fear gripped me, it had taken me and wrenched me out of sleep. I had no idea what I was scared of, but I was terrified. I was sweat soaked, shivering, and repressing screams.

Suddenly the dark corners of my room seemed to expand like they were trying to swallow me. I heard a deep cruel laugh, it seemed to echo around in my head.  
‘So you are the one he is bonded with, such a strong bond for ones so young.’  
The voice was cold and scared me more. My breath started to come out even faster.  
‘Another little force sensitive boy, who's found a home with the Solos. Let me tell you boy, they don’t love you, they think you are a horrible little boy,’  
“No, no” I gasped, the shadows closed in more.  
‘They want to separate you and Ben, because they hate you,’  
Tears started to stream down my cheeks.  
“Ben!” I gasped. I saw him being ripped away from me, and me being left all alone.  
‘But I would never separate you, I could stop it happening.’ the hissing voice promised.  
I whimpered. No, no, no they love me. They said I was family. They said I was a good friend.  
‘I would let you stay together, forever’ the voice promised suddenly sounding sickly sweet.  
The last word seemed to echo, ‘forever’ it was so tempting that word. 

Light flooded the room, it chased away the shadows. My mother flew into the room. Her arms wrapped around me.  
‘Get out of my son's head!’ her voice rang out between my ears,  
‘Who are you?’ the creature hissed  
‘Leave, leave now’ Mother cried, her voice seemingly imbued with power.  
‘You do not command me’ the voice sneered  
‘Get out!’ her voice was full of such strength. I felt the presents withdraw. It felt sick and black. Once left I collapsed with sobs into her arms. 

“Ssh Brendol, it will be alright” she murmured “I am sorry that I let this happen. I promise you’re safe now.”  
I did feel safe, wrapped up in her arms. She made it go away. She manoeuvred herself till we were lying down on the bed.  
“Don’t worry I will stay, he won’t touch your mind again I promise,” she whispered. I sobbed, clinging on to her shirt. 

I cried myself into exhaustion. 

***  
“Darling,”

“Brendol, it is time to wake up darling boy.” A soft voice called. I forced my eyes open, blinking. Light streamed in from the open curtains. My mother was sitting on the side of my bed, smiling down at me.  
“Good Morning Brendol.” I frowned, mother never woke me up, had I overslept?  
“Good Morning Mother, have I, overslept?” I ventured, she shook her head.  
“No, I turned off your alarm so you could have a proper sleep.” She told me, I was confused. I looked at my clock off to the side of my bed, ’10:30’. 

10:30, it was over three hours I after I should have gotten up. I should already have had an hour of tutoring. Father would be unbelievably furious. I sat quickly up, as I did I felt all my muscles all throb. Mother put a hand on my shoulder steadying me.  
“Your tutoring is cancelled today, you are far too tired to work Brendol.” Mother said as she reached behind me to prop my pillows up. “Lean back against the headboard.” My whole body felt exhausted, why? “Do you remember what happen last night?” I screwed up my eyes, trying to remember what she could be talking about.

Then I remembered the all-consuming fear. My breath hitched as remember the cold voice.  
“Yes,” I whispered.  
“That is why you are tired, you are mentally tired, and that has affected the rest of your body” she explained as she pulled the covers up over my lap. She reached behind herself a produced a tray of breakfast food she placed it on my lap. Breakfast, in bed? This wasn’t allowed. I was one hundred percent sure that if Father knew he would punish me, he had never forbidden it, but that didn’t mean it was allowed.  
“Mother, I am I allowed, to, to do this?” I asked looking at the food.  
“Do not worry about your father darling, he has allowed you to have this day off.” She told me, “So eat up”  
I unsurely picked up the cutlery and started to eat, it was wonderful, somehow better in bed.  
“Do I really have the whole day off?” Mother nodded.  
“And we are going to go see Ben,” she told me a smile playing over her lips. My chest swelled, part of me was eager to see Ben, to check that he would still hug me. I smiled.  
“Now darling, how about I read to you while you eat?”  
***  
When we arrived at Ben’s later that day, he did not fly out of the house to greet us. It made anxiety build in my stomach, where was he was he? When we were almost at the door Leia opened it, her warm smile helped elevate my unease slightly. I looked behind her and didn’t see Ben, what if he didn’t want to see me?  
“Hello Brendol, Madam Hux.” Leia greeted. I gave her a small smile.  
“Greeting Senator Organa,” Mother replied, I was tongue tied for a second, she had said to call her ‘Leia’ but, Mother was here.  
“Hello Leia,” I said quietly. She smiled broadly down at me,  
“Ben is upstairs dear, he is very tired, he had a very rough night yesterday,” she explained, as if sensing my question before I asked it.  
“So did Brendol,” Mother stated. Leia almost frowned but stopped it, then she stepped back leading Mother into the drawing room, I walked upstairs, too tired to run.

When I reached Ben’s door I knocked,  
“Come in” Ben called, his voice was quieter than normal. I opened the door and saw Ben curled up in bed.  
“Hey.” I greeted,  
“Brendol,” he whispered, he struggled to sit up. I hurried across the room and sat on the edge of his bed.  
“Are you okay Ben?” I asked, Ben gave up trying to sit up and relaxed against the pillows.  
“No,” he said, voice heartbreaking in how small and sad it was. I moved closer to him and grabbed his hand,  
“Don’t worry it is going to be okay,” I tried to reassure. Ben’s lip trembled,  
“Will you still like me, if my force powers get stronger?” he asked,  
“Of course.” I promised, “I don’t care about your force powers, you are still Ben.” I told him, squeezing his hand. His eyes filled with tears,  
“What if people think that I am dangerous, that I could hurt you.” he pressed. I looked him in the eye,  
“I don’t believe you would ever hurt me, not on purpose,” I said, He rubbed his eyes with his other hand.  
“But what if I did?” he asked, fat tears starting roll down his cheeks.  
“You won’t, because you are my friend, and I know that you wouldn’t because I would never hurt you,” I said firmly, Ben sobbed. I leant in and hugged him, his hands grasped at the back of my shirt.  
“Bren.” he sobbed. I could feel myself start to cry. I shifted so I was sitting parallel to him still hugging him tightly. 

After a few minutes, Ben started to stop crying, as did I. He smiled up at my weakly.  
“Do you want to come under the covers and watch a holo?” he asked.  
“Yeah”. I stood up and took my shoes and jacket off, placing then on a chair. Ben lifted back the cover and allowed me to slip under them. When he pulled them back up, I was wrapped in warmth and the smell of Ben. My own anxieties left me. Ben would be like this unless he truly cared. 

Ben set up a holo, and then once he had turned it on he snuggled up to my side. I held him tight. I was so tired. Ben clearly was as well, he had started to drift off. I looked down at his peaceful face, and suddenly I was overwhelmed. I started to cry softly, hiding the tears from Ben’s view my burying my face in his hair. I didn’t even now if I was sad, I was happy when there was this feeling of despair pulling me down. I didn’t get to have wonderful perfect people in my life like Ben, it surely wasn’t allowed. He was so good for me. 

“Brendol?” Ben murmured sleepily. Shifting, hands reaching for my face,  
“Shh Ben, go back to sleep,” I whispered, but my shaking voice gave away the tears I was hiding.  
“Bren, don’t cry, please,” Ben said as he wrapped his arm around me.  
“Sorry, I just, I really love you.” I stumbled over the words  
“I love you too Bren, you are my bestest friend” he mumbled back. His lips found my check kissing it. I pressed one to his forehead.  
We fell asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms. 

***

I felt warm and wonderful. I heard distant voices.  
“They look so sweet.” that was Leia…  
“Yes they do, I am glad that our sons have found each other. I have a feeling that there trust in each other will have a great impact on events in the future.” that was Mother.  
“I hope they have enough time to be young, but that may not happen,” Leia said.  
I smelt Ben all around, and warmth of another body. I turned further into it and slipped back into oblivion.  
****


	5. A Glimpse into a Future Filled with Uncertainty

I was just getting into bed when old Ben appeared this time alongside another younger man. The other man had a scar running down his face.  
“Hello Brendol, how are you today?” Ben said kindly, I smiled back shyly.  
“I am good, thank you, Ben, how are you?” I replied.  
“I am well, I would like you to meet my dear friend Anakin Skywalker,” he said introducing the other man.  
“It is good to meet you Brendol” the man giving me a smile. It reminded me of my Ben’s smile. Anakin Skywalker… My mouth dropped open,  
“You are Ben’s Granddad,” I exclaimed. He smiled and nodded.  
“Yes I am,” he replied.  
“Ben told me all about you! How you fought against the dark side!” I cried excitedly. Ben had given me an almost lecture on his Grandfather. Ben had mentioned him in passing and I had asked a question about him. That sent him off on an hour long rant, where I watched him with awe as he got excited and his voice got louder. As he pulled old holo-pictures off the shelves of his Grandfather and Grandmother for me to see.

“One day I want to be like them, both of them!” he exclaimed. I looked closely at the photo of the smiling couple.  
“How do you want to be like them?” I asked, eager to see more of Ben’s face in such joy.  
“I want to be a Jedi like Granddad, and help beat the bad guys! And I want to be a Senator like Grandma and Mama and stop people I love from being hurt!” he said the-the last sentence staring into my eyes.

Both men smiled,  
“He said he wants to be like you!” I exclaimed the man flinched. Then he gave me a forced smile. I frowned, why wasn’t he happy?  
“He said he wanted to be like you and Padme,” I said softly. At this, his eyes became slightly softer. Suddenly a thought occurred to me, if I could meet him then, then Ben could too!  
“Have you met Ben? It is his 7th birthday tomorrow! You should go see him, it would make him so happy!” I exclaimed loudly. Then my eyes widened, what if Father had heard? The ghosts suddenly both looked very sad.  
“We can’t Brendol.” The older man said.  
“Why not?” Ben sat on my bed.  
“The nightmares Ben has been having are not normal Brendol, they are a result of very powerful dark side user controlling Ben’s dreams.” My eyes widened in shock. Was that the voice?  
“He is stopping us taking form in Ben’s presence, even though we greatly wish to see him,” Ben explained.  
“But I thought you were a Jedi, can’t you stop him?” I questioned.  
“We aren’t strong enough Brendol.”  
“Oh,” It felt wrong meeting Ben's hero, and him not being able to.  
“But I am here for him,” Anakin told me walking over and kneeling at my side. “I want you to deliver a message, can you do that for me?” he asked. I nodded  
“Of course”  
“I need to tell Ben, that I am sorry for not appearing when he calls, or when he needs me, that I want nothing more than to be able to give him advice. But that an evil man is stopping me. Then reminded him of this, ‘There is not death, there is only the force’, for even if Ben cannot see me I am always with him. Tell that I am proud, and that he is doing well, and tell him that his best friend Brendol is very precious, and that” here he paused and looked at the older man. “best friends are the hardest to come by, and should always be treasured.” he finished, I flushed. Being complimented by Anakin Skywalker was a huge honour.  
I got up from my bed and wrote it all down. When I got back into bed Old Ben smiled.  
“Would you like for us to tell you a story?” he offered. I nodded smiling, Anakin looked at Ben surprised.  
“Please,” I said. Ben smiled at Anakin,  
“Why not tell him about your first space flight?” Ben asked, Anakin laughed.  
“Well unlike most of my glorious victories it involves Qui-Gon Gin telling me to stay safe in a ship. While they fought. Fortunately for everyone, I didn’t stay put because I accidentally activated the ships pre-loaded flight instructions, and I flew off with the rest of the fleet.” he explained. I put my hand up, Anakin blinked.  
“Yes?”  
“What kind of ship was it?” I asked curiously.  
“An N1 Starfighter.” he told me, “So it was just me and an R2 unit and…”

I managed to stay awake for the whole story.

***  
For the first time, I was nervous going to Ben’s house. It was Ben’s birthday, and I knew his uncle had arrived, I was a bit intimidated at the idea of meeting him. Ben had excited at the prospect of showing his Uncle that I was force sensitive. But the idea just made me nervous. I took a deep breath as we arrived at the house and I got out of the transport, it would be fine. I shouldn’t be upset in slightest on Ben’s birthday.

As I started up the path two people burst through the door. Ben was leading pulling a man with sandy blond hair by the hand.  
“Come on!” he called, running towards me. The man sped up, laughing. I put the bag with Brendol’s present in on the ground. Ben caught my eyes and sped up even more, he then let go of the man's hand and threw himself at me.  
“Brendol!”  
“Ben” I called as I caught him. Without knowing why I pulled him close and lifted him spinning him round. He held on tight laughing in pure joy. I joined in. The now familiar wave of Ben’s joy crashed over me and I let my own joy crash over him. I placed him back down after two spins slightly dizzy.  
“Happy Birthday!” I exclaimed.  
“Thank you!” Ben pulled away, part of me didn’t want to let him go. He stepped back, I looked up a the man with a warm smile. It must be Luke Skywalker, he looked like he did on all the holos.  
“Uncle Luke, this is Brendol,” Ben told him, pulling me closer. Luke’s smile grew and he knelt, offering me a hand which I shook.  
“It is a pleasure to meet you Brendol,”  
“It is a pleasure to meet you too” I replied.  
“I am glad to meet the newest member of our family,” he said, and it felt like my heart stopped beating in my chest. “I may only have been here a day but in that time, I have heard a lot about you from everyone.”

I went red with embarrassment. I had the urge to bury my head in Ben’s hair and never look up again. Seeing my face Luke chuckled,  
“Nothing bad, only praise.” this didn’t help the state of my face. To try and take attention off myself I picked up the bag and pulled out Ben’s present.  
“I hope you like it,” I said as I gave him the wrapped up box. Ben looked at it with awe.  
“Thank you, thank you!” he gasped in excitement, he had started to hop from foot to foot. Ben tucked the box under on arm and took my hand, then he almost went to take Luke’s hand too but couldn’t because he was holding the box. He looked conflicted for a second, but Luke reached down and took the box from him. Ben grinned taking Luke’s hand and we walked up to the house together. Ben talking at a hundred miles an hour.  
“Brendol can use the force, Uncle, like me and you and Mama!” Ben told him, Luke was smiling fondly,  
“So you have said Ben, and so I have seen,” he replied, both me and Ben looked up at him.  
“But he hasn’t used it yet” Ben pointed out. Luke raise an eyebrow,  
“I will explain later, today is not about the force. Today is about celebrating your birth.” Luke said firmly. I turned to Ben to see his reaction. Ben was looking up at Luke happily.  
“But you will explain tomorrow right?” Ben asked.  
“Of course.”

We entered the house and walked into the kitchen where Han was setting the table and Leia was finishing cooking lunch. Chewie already sat at the table and also in the kitchen was an old R2 unit, that was beeping at C3PO.  
“Honestly, R2 you could be more polite!” C3PO gasped.  
‘Fuck polite’ beeped back the R2 unit.  
“R2 none of that language around children!” Luke scolded. C3PO turned around,  
“Ah, Master Brendol what a pleasure to see you again! I apologise for R2 language, it really is terrible.” the droid said.  
“Alright everyone, sit down,” Leia called. Ben led me over to the table, we sat and Ben held my hand tight. Leia, Han, and Luke brought the food over and then all sat.  
“Everyone help themselves,” Leia said.

Sitting around the table with Ben’s family made me feel like I really belonged.They didn’t just throw the word family around, they really meant it. They considered me part of their family. Ben squeezed my hand, I gathered up the feeling in my chest and pushed it to Ben. I felt him accept it and cradle it. A second later he sent back his own happiness and tightness, I scooped it up and treasured it. I squeezed his hand back before letting go. I stored Ben’s happiness in my mind. When I looked up Leia was looking at us, she blinked before starting to eat.

***  
Later I gave Ben his present, a set of two Y-wings. He was so happy with the gift.  
“Thank you!” he gushed before leaning over and kissing me cheek. “I love them!”

The other thing I had was a bit harder to explain,  
“Um, you know force ghosts?” I asked everyone looked very surprised at me bringing such an obscure topic up. Except Luke who just smiled.  
“Yes?” Leia replied.  
“Well, two visited me yesterday with a message for Ben.” There was silence. Before Ben’s eyes widened in excitement.  
“They had a message for me? Who was it?” he asked leaning forward towards me.  
“Well there is the old man, Ben, he said you were named after him” Ben’s head snapped to Luke.  
“Does that mean he is Obi-wan?” Luke nodded.  
“But he has visited before, the one with the message was Anakin Skywalker,” I told him.  
“Anakin Skywalker, visited you, with a message for me?” Ben whispered. I nodded getting out the letter and handing it to him. Ben read the letter and burst into tears. No, it wasn’t meant to make him cry!  
“Bren” he sobbed throwing his arms around my neck.  
“Ben, don’t cry, it isn’t meant to make you cry,” I told him.  
“I am just so happy” he cried, “He wasn’t ignoring me.”  
“No one would ever ignore you” I murmured into his curls.

***  
The next day I was back at Ben’s, sitting on the floor of the sitting room in front of Luke.  
“Now, the reason I knew that you were force sensitive almost as soon as I met you is that both you and Ben used the force yesterday when you hugged,” Luke explained.  
“What?” I exclaimed.  
“Do you remember what I told you about force bonds Ben?” he asked, Ben nodded.  
“You said that they were bonds between force sensitives that really care about each other,” Ben explained,  
“Well remembered Ben” Ben beamed at the praise. “You and Brendol have a force bond, a very strong force bond.”  
“Oh,” Ben breathed.  
“The force bond you share is stronger and more versatile than any other bond either of you have. It is stronger than any bond I have.” Luke eyes were serious and voice firm, but he was smiling softly. Ben reached out to me, and without having to look I took his hand.  
“It is very special, and the strength of it means that while you have physical contact with each other it is extremely easy to share feelings. It also means that you can do it with no training or instruction because the bond does all the work,” he explained.

I looked at Ben, he was gazing at Luke in awe.  
“What else can it do?” he whispered reverently.  
“Well, it is likely that you can send thoughts across it though that may take some practice. If one of you experiences extreme emotions the other may feel it. With a bond as strong as yours distance may stop being an issue, with my sister I can always sense that she is alive but that is the extent of it unless I do focused mediation. But you two with practice may be able to communicate fully over great distances.”  
“So we would never have to be apart.” I realised, “Not really” Ben expression was so terribly excited.  
“Today I am going to teach you how to focus a feel the bond within your own mind. This will allow you to communicate and send emotions while not touching.

***  
After that day if I needed to I could reach out and touch the bond. It was a beautiful golden thread in my mind. If I needed to I could reach along the bond and touch Ben’s mind, ask him how he was, or ask for and offer comfort.

The only thing that changed over the next year was that any secrets between were told. I hated to keep anything from him, even if it was a surprise for him.

The next year was wonderful.

The ninth year of my life was mainly uncomplicated, apart from the nightmares that plagued Ben and I gradually more frequently everything was perfect.

The nightmares scared all of us. Not just Ben and I, but also Leia, Han, Chewie and my own Mother were all worried by them. And why wouldn’t they be? Old Ben told me that they were caused by a dark side force user entering Ben’s mind when he slept. He said that the reason I was pulled into the dreams was either that bond caused us to share intense dreams or that the evil man was intentionally yanking on the bond in Ben’s mind to cause me to be pulled into Ben’s dream space. Apparently that was very dangerous.

Despite this, it was a very happy year, and with Ben’s company, just seemed to fly by. My next major run in with the force was on Ben’s 8th birthday.

***  
I stumbled as I ran, Ben’s hand brushed my back.  
“IT” he yelled, I tried to stop as fast as possible so I could get him back. I spun around and saw Ben running back down the garden.  
“Come get me!” he yelled. I gave chase. Ben reached the end of the garden, he turned and started to run towards me, he dodged to the right, I reached for him. Ben had a bright flushed grin on his face. He ducked under my arm.  
“Ha, you failed!” he shouted laughing. I started to laugh. Then pain shot through my body and everything went black.

From the pitch black a light started to appear, a small pinprick then it started to expand. There was a flash of light, and then when my eyes focused as the light went back to normal levels I saw a courtyard. It was clearly a jungle habitat massive trees all around. The building was old. Before me stood two men. One with bright red hair, and the other with flowing curls.

Oh. Was that? Was that?

Both men had lightsabers drawn, standing in combat stances. I had to see their faces.

I ran forwards and saw my own face, older more mature in front of me. I looked at the other man and saw the beautiful eyes of Ben, the same nose, moles, and hair. But instead of a smile and dark scowl painted his face.

“Don’t do this Ben, put down the lightsaber.” said older me.  
“I have already made our choice Bren. They will separate us, they don’t understand us. We have to leave. Snoke won’t, he has given me his word that he will never separate us. We must leave. And they are our first trial in the path to the dark.” Ben told him frustration present in his voice.  
“No.”  
“Yes! Bren, why can’t you see? I love you! You love me too, right?” he asked voice desperate.  
“Yes Ben, I love you.” older me whispered, eyes sad.  
“They don’t understand that, they think our connection is dangerous! Snoke sees it as a good thing! Unlike Luke and everyone else who is scared!” he yelled.  
“Ben, I love you, but I don’t think this is the right decision. Please, let's stay here, I will try and block him out for a couple of hours for you. And you can think about it without him there.” older me reasoned. Ben shook his head.  
“No, come with me. Let complete the challenge our master has set for us.” he persuaded. Older me shook his head.  
“I love you, Ben, I am sorry that I have to stop you. I love you.” He said.

The two men ran at each other lightsabers clashing, the duel was fast and harsh. Both combatants highly skilled. Then Ben broke through Brendol defence. He sliced off Brendol’s left hand, the vision seemed to split into three at that point. Somehow I watched all three at once and separately.

In the first Brendol fell to his knees and Ben’s next strike instead of Brendol’s blade deflecting it stabbed him through the chest. I felt phantom pain. Brendol died in an instant. All was silent. And then Ben started to scream, and scream, and scream. As Luke ran into the courtyard accompanied by several others, Ben thrust his saber into his own chest and died.

In the second Brendol fought back harder with only his right hand. When there was an opening he took it, slicing across Ben’s side. The next strike that Brendol anticipated Ben would block landed. It sliced him clean in half. Brendol fell to his knees. He screamed, and screamed, and screamed. And as Luke entered the courtyard he fell upon his own weapon.

In the final version, Brendol fell to his knees and blocked the next stroke. But Ben disarmed Brendol.  
“Please, Brendol,” Ben said as he held the lightsaber up to Brendol’s throat. “Please.” Tears welled up in Brendol’s eyes.  
“Feel it,” Ben whispered. “The power we could have.” Brendol whimpered shutting his eyes. When he opened them again, the were filled with something new.  
“I will follow you anywhere Ben, I love you,” Brendol said. Ben sheathed his weapon and dropped to the ground next to Brendol.  
“I am sorry for hurting you” Ben promised. “We will get you a new arm, I promise”

The visions faded to black I over the terror I felt at the other visions was overtaken by a new profound fear. I could hear the galaxy screaming, screaming, screaming.

‘If any of it comes to pass, then the galaxy will scream for a thousand years’ a million voices seemed to whisper.

Then I was screaming.

***  
I sat up screaming, I saw Ben leaning over me.

“Bren, it is-“ he started, no, no, no. Ben had turned, I saw. I screamed and Ben flew through the air away from me. Then there was pressure pushing my shoulder back to the floor. I thrashed screaming. Someone was trying to pin me down with the force. I screamed louder and try to slam my own powers into it but they broke like waves on a rock. I screamed. I distantly heard a voice.  
“Luke you’re making it worse! Stop!”  
“But he”  
“He is scared Luke, of all this force shit! Stop, I will calm him.”

 

Han Solo’s face came into my vision and he knelt at my side.  
“Hey Kid, shhh, you are safe, I promise,” he said firmly, the pressure on me stopped. I started to sit up but Han put a hand on my shoulder. “Easy there Brendol, just stay put. Shh buddy,” he said.  
With the threat of the force gone, I stopped screaming.  
“We are in the living room of our house, it is Ben’s ninth birthday, you passed out.” he informed me.

The memories of the too real visions hit me. I started to sob. Han gathered me up in his arms.  
“It is okay Brendol, it is going to be okay,” he told me. I clutched his shirt, clinging to him as if he was an anchor to this moment, to the present.  
“Let it all out Brendol” he soothed hand rubbing my back.  
I cried myself out of tears.  
“What happened?” I whispered.  
“You passed out Brendol, so we brought you in here. You were out for quite a while kid, then you suddenly sat up and started screaming. Now we are here.” He explained slowly. I saw myself throwing Ben across the room.  
“Where’s Ben?” I asked, when I looked around and couldn’t see him, I started to panic. What if I had hurt him? “Ben, Ben!” I called breath speeding up. I heard footsteps.  
“Ben is coming, Brendol.” Han tried to reassure me. I couldn’t wait. Standing up and pulling out of Han’s arms.  
“Ben!”  
Ben sped through the door. I stumbled, unsteady on my feet as I tried to run to him.  
“Bren!” he yelled. He flew into my arms. I wrapped my arms around him.  
“Ben, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”  
“Bren!” he replied burying his face in my shoulder. After a few seconds, I pulled back slightly.  
“Did I hurt you?” I repeated Ben lifted his head.  
“I’m fine Bren” He wasn’t. The was a graze across his forehead. It was bleeding sluggishly. Oh, maker. I had done that. I pushed his hair back, away from the graze.  
“Ben, oh Ben, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just-I” I tried to explain the words not seeming to be enough. I vaguely realised that I was crying again.  
“I am fine Bren, are you okay?” he asked looking up at me. The cut bled. I had done that. I had hurt Ben. Like, like in the vision. I had killed him.  
“Ben, I am sorry, I am sorry,” I sobbed, I hid my face in his hair. Ben’s arms tightened around me.  
“Bren, I am okay, I promise. You were just scared, I have done similar things after my nightmares. I know you didn’t mean to” he told me. “You didn’t mean to hurt me. You are still my best friend I promise,” I pressed a kiss to his curls.  
“I am sorry” I repeated like a broken record.  
“I have already forgiven you.” I pulled back to see his open honest face.  
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I am sorry for ruining your birthday Ben” Ben sniffed and gave me a weak smile.  
“I don’t care as long as you are okay, Uncle Luke said that the living force was surrounding you. Han had to carry you so we didn’t disrupt it. What happened?” he asked. I looked into the innocent chocolate eyes, and contrasted them with older Ben’s harsher ones. I didn’t want to tell him, that I saw us killing each other.  
“It’s, it doesn’t matter,” I said trying to divert the topic.  
“But-“ Ben started,  
“Brendol, I would like to talk to you alone,” Luke said firmly, stepping forwards. I didn’t want to let go of Ben. But, maybe I could tell Luke? It felt less like a dream and more like, like something real? Maybe he could explain. I kissed Ben’s forehead before stepping back. He clearly didn’t want to let go.

I found a smile.  
“I won’t be long, promise, then I can show you what I brought you,” I told him. Ben bit his lip, Leia put her hand on his arm and guided him out. He didn’t want to go. He left.

I looked up at Luke. He sat down cross-legged on the floor.  
“What just happen to you is called a force vision. They can be very intense, and terrifying. They can also cause complete loss of control powers. I assumed that was what had happened when you used the force on Ben, that is why I held you down. I am sorry if that cause more distress.” Luke explained giving me a soft smile.  
“So what I saw, it is going to happen?” I asked. Oh, maker. Luke shook his head.  
“Not necessarily, the future is not fixed.” Luke told me, “Would you like to share your experience? I may be able to help you to understand it.” I bit my lip.  
“You can’t tell Ben” I replied.  
“I won’t unless you give me permission.” I sat in front of him.

I related to him the vision and all three endings, as well as the strange voice at the end. Then I told him what Obi-Wan always said ‘You are destined to save Ben and save the galaxy with him’.

Luke nodded,  
“You have seen a possible future event, an event that has three possible endings, but each ending is equally as bad in regards to the whole galaxy as it will fall to ruin with you,” he said.  
“I don’t want to kill Ben, I never want to hurt him,” I whispered.  
“That event is very unlikely to be fixed, it is a possible future, those events may never come to pass,” he reassured.  
“But they might,” I said. “So how do I stop it?” Luke sighed.  
“There is no way to know how to avoid a future, that is what Anakin tried. His efforts lead to the future coming true. I advise you to meditate on them, I also suggest you do not hide your vision from Ben. He needs to be able to trust you. He cannot if you keep such events from him,”

I didn’t want Ben to worry, I wanted him to happy, not get upset about a possible future. He deserved to have ignorance for today at least.

“Tomorrow,” I decided, before standing up. “Tomorrow.” I smiled at Luke tiredly before walking out of the room to find Ben. As I entered the room his head snapped up.  
“Brendol, are you okay?” he asked standing and making his way over.  
“Of course,” I comforted, embracing him. He relaxed in my arms.  
“What happened?”  
“Tomorrow, I’ll tell you tomorrow. Today is about you,” I replied.  
“Promise?”  
“I promise.”

***  
Ben was scared by the vision when I told him the next day. We held each other, Ben was crying.  
“That’s what the voice wants,” he sobbed, “It wants me to be bad, it says that is what I am meant to do.” he cried,  
“Shh, it doesn’t know anything about you.” I soothed. Ben just sobbed into my shoulder. I pulled away slightly and wiped Ben’s eyes, even though tears continued to fall.  
“I won’t let you okay Ben? You’ll protect me, and I’ll protect you, deal?” I asked. Ben nodded tears still falling.  
“Deal, I’ll never hurt you, I won’t!” he promised. I kissed his forehead. He summoned up a tiny smile and kissed my nose. I scrunched it up, and Ben laughed wetly.  
“I’ll never hurt you either.” I vowed.

***  
I only had one other vision in the next two years. It happened at home, in the middle of tutoring.

***

Ben stood in front of me, older more beautiful. He was clearly fully grown and he was wearing a beautiful floor-length gown. The dress was almost completely backless, it dipped down to the small of his back. It made my breath catch. It was dark blue, and the specs of silver all over made it look like the night sky. He was standing on a balcony looking out over the city. The door to the building opened, and a man wearing a suit and with red hair slipped out into the night air. It was clearly me.

Ben turned,  
“Hux,” he said softly, future me walked towards him and gathered him in my arms.  
“Why did you leave me all alone in there my beautiful prince? Alone with a hoard of people trying to dance with me, such cruelty.” he teased. Ben laughed, and leant forward. We kissed, softly tenderly.  
“You are a fully trained Jedi, Senator. Surly you can handle a few fawning fans?” Ben teased back.  
“I can but I prefer to do with a beautiful prince on my arm. It makes sure that no one gets overly affectionate.” Brendol told Ben, dipping his head and nuzzling into Ben’s are neck and shoulder.  
“Don’t tease Bren, leave that for later.” Ben said lifting Brendol's chin up. Brendol’s face turned slightly more serious.  
“You are okay right Ben? Why did you leave?” I murmured  
“Just need some air, the warm air, and the people were making me feel slightly trapped. But I am okay tonight.” Ben explained running a hand through Brendol’s hair.  
“Good,” Brendol whispered leaning in once again, “I love you”  
“I love you too” Ben mumbled as he closed the gap and kissed me once again.

***  
When I came to after that vision, my mother was leaning over me.  
“Are you okay Bren?” she asked.

The vision rushed back to me, Ben and I kissing. Twice. That would happen in the future, the thought made me turn red.  
“Yes,” I muttered in reply trying not to think about the beautiful dress Ben had been wearing.  
***  
“You had another vision!” Ben exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the bed. I nodded awkwardly.  
“Well, what happened? Was it another bad one or a good one?” she asked, eyes wide. I flushed, good was a way it could be put.  
“It was um good,” I ventured. Ben gestured expectantly.  
“What happened?” he asked. I couldn't tell him, I’d have to show him. At Ben’s ninth birthday Uncle Luke had helped us learn how to share memories more easily.  
“I’ll show you.” I told him, leaning in to press our foreheads together. Ben smiled excitedly.

I replayed the memory for him. When I pulled away both of us were blushing.  
“Um, you think that is going to happen in the future?” Ben asked, I looked down at my hands, trying once again not imagine what kissing Ben would feel like, and not to remember how beautiful Ben looked grown up and draped in silk.  
“I don’t know.” I replied honestly. I looked up, Ben was biting his lip.  
“I have never worn a dress before, I, I wonder what it is like.” he said thoughtfully. I shrugged, I didn’t know. I couldn’t wait to see if this did happen. If when we grew up Ben would be handsome, and covered in expensive fabric, and would kiss me softly. I had to admit that I wanted it to happen.

Ben was lost in thought for a second about dresses, before Leia’s voice snapped us out of the trance-like state we were in.  
“Dinner!”

We hurried down, the vision for the moment forgotten.

***


	6. It Just the Beginning, This isn't the End.

It was a month and a half before Ben’s birthday. 

It was a normal evening, we were sitting at the dinner table, as always not talking. When my father broke the silence.  
“Brendol, next month the new school that I and my colleagues have been working on is opening. You, of course, will be enrolled,” he informed me, cooly. I saw Mother tense.  
“Of course Father,” I replied. The idea sounded horrible, like Saturday class, but all week.  
“The school will be for boarders it is over in the next system. You have the next month to prepare yourself for the change.”  
My heart sunk all the way to my boots. In the next system? But, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t! If I was there I couldn’t see Ben! Who knows when I would next see him? And if Father meant exactly a month then I would miss Ben’s tenth Birthday! My mouth was dry. I didn’t respond. Brendol Sr looked up, scowling.  
“Answer boy,” he demanded. I opened my mouth but no sound came out.  
“Do not just sit there boy!” he growled, starting to stand. 

“Brendol sit down. My son will not be going to that school, that is final.” Mother announced, voice perfectly calm and steady. 

There was silence. 

“How dare you speak to me like that!” my father yelled turning to her. She sipped her wine, unfazed.  
“Don’t shout Brendol, it is uncivilised,” she commented sharply before turning to me. Instead of the cool mask, she smiled at me. This shocked me to the core. “Now my darling Bren, go pack anything you wish to take with you, we are going to leave in an hour. Don’t worry, you don’t have to pack more than two sets of clothes, I will have the rest sent on, but make sure you take all the important things with you. Okay?” she explained, smiling softly. 

Not knowing what else to do but obey; I got up from the table. 

“Sit back down you worthless child!” Brendol Sr hissed, I froze torn between the two orders. As I stood still Brendol Sr reached over and slapped me across the face. It was not the worst punishment I had ever endured by a long way but the way Mother reacted you would have thought it had been. 

Mother stepped around the table picking up a carving knife, grabbing Brendol Sr and slamming him against the wall. The knife centimetres away from his throat.  
“You will never lay a hand on my son again, do you understand? We are going to leave and you are not going to stop us, understand?” she hissed. Defiance burned for a second in his eyes before flickering out. 

Mother stepped away. Brendol Sr still leant against the wall.  
“Now darling,” she said as she turned to me, “Let's go get packed up.”  
***  
The next hour was bizarre, I packed up my favourite books and clothes and the few other personal items I owned (mostly given to me by Ben). Then Mother took my hand and we went out to a waiting transport, it flew us to a high-end apartment block. Mother seemed to already have sorted this all out as we went straight up in the elevator, and into a stylish suite of rooms.  
“This is our new home, at least for now Bren,” she told me, smiling down at me. 

I was confused and disoriented. Why had she decided that we should leave? Why now?  
“Mother, I don’t understand? Why did we leave?” I asked, suddenly I felt like crying. Mother put a hand on my shoulder and guided me over to a sofa. She wrapped an arm around me.  
“I am sorry you had to put up with your horrible father for twelve years, but you must see that it was necessary to keep a low profile. But now the need for that is past, and even if it hadn’t I would never let him send you to such a place,” she explained, I leant into her embrace. “That school would wrap you, turn you away from the light in your life. I would never allow someone to do that to you my lovely son because you are the most precious thing in my life, and I love you dearly,” she told me tenderly. I nodded, hugging her.  
“I love you too, Mother” 

“Now my darling boy I have to tell you about the history of our family, and why you have the force,” she stated. I was pretty sure that Mother knew that I had the force, but she had never spoken of it to me. I looked up at her.  
“Did you always know?” I asked, she laughed softly.  
“Of course” she replied, “Now you must keep this all of what I will tell you a secret my darling.” I bit my lip,  
“Even from Ben?” I asked, she shook her head.  
“You needn’t, I will be telling his Mother tomorrow. I wouldn’t ask you to keep secrets from someone that you have such a strong force bond with,” she told me. She lifted a hand and pointed towards her bag it lifted off the ground a flew across the room. I just sat in shock, as the bag hovered a meter from us, it opened and data pad floated out into my mother’s hand. I looked her eyes wide.  
“You have the force,” I whispered.  
“Yes Bren, that is you get your force powers from. However we both get them from my Father,” she told me. She brought up a photo on her data pad. On the screen was a man with red hair, like my own. My mother shared a lot of his features, even though they were softer on her face.  
“This is a photo of your grandfather when he was younger. You have seen photos of him, but in the ones you have seen he no longer resembles either of us. My father was Emperor Palpatine,” 

There was silence as I tried to process exactly what she had said. She was saying that she was the daughter of Emperor Palpatine.  
“What?” I whispered.  
“Sheev Palpatine when he was younger had an affair, and I am his illegitimate daughter. The force is strong in me, and strong in you, my darling.” I just sat there in complete shock. “But I was kept secret, and though he taught me how to control my powers on a basic level he never made me his apprentice. So I worked for the Empire and when the unrest started I found a man to marry. Brendol was in the right age range and the right rank, so we married. I became pregnant with you, as I believed that if the Empire fell they would not execute all middle and low-ranking officers as there were simply too many. If I had a child my chances of survival were higher, or that was the plan, however as soon as you were conceived I could feel your new life through the force. Everything suddenly became about protecting you.” I was clutching on to my mother, as my world was turned upside down. 

“Now Bren, this does not change anything about you as a person, you understand? You are your own person, as am I. You share nothing with my Father,” she told me cupping my face in her hand.  
“So,” I was lost for words. My Grandfather was one of the most hated men in the galaxy, I wasn’t sure how I felt about being defended from him.  
“Brendol, you are your person, you are not your father, or your grandfather, or me. You are your own person, and you make your own choices. Understand?” she said firmly. I nodded.  “It is just, a lot to take in,” I said softly. She stroked my hair.  
“How about we order in some dinner?” she asked. I blinked.  
“Order take-out?” I asked disbelievingly. I had only eaten take-out with Ben, and even then rarely. I could remember all the times we had done it. Father would rather I starved than ate take out. But we weren’t with him anymore… 

Mother was looking down indulgently at me.  “Yes, my lovely boy. Do you want to choose where we order from? I’m afraid I don’t know much about take-out food.” she said handing me the data pad. I looked up eyes wide, Mother smiled.  
“Just remember Bren that your Father’s stupidly strict rules now longer apply. We can do normal activities, fun things together, okay?” she told me. 

I was overwhelmed with feeling suddenly. I turned and hugged Mother tightly.  “I love you, Mother,” I whispered, tears brimming in my eyes. She hugged me back tightly.  “I love you too Brendol. Are you okay?” she asked, concerned at my outburst. I pulled back, wiping a tear away.  “Yes, I am just happy. Really happy.” I replied. She kissed my forehead.  “Oh Bren,” she murmured. She smiled.  
“Now, that food isn’t going to order itself.” she teased. I laughed, shaking my head, and unlocking the data pad.

***  
We were sitting in a transport the next morning, I felt a brush against my mind. Ben was reaching through the bond,  
‘Are you okay? You felt really upset yesterday, but you were too far and too distracted for me to reach you’  
I reached back through the bond, stroking the thread.  
‘It was a bit of an intense and weird day, I am okay, though. I will tell you when I get there.’ I told him. 

Mother smiled at me.  
“Was Ben checking in on you?” she asked. I nodded,  
“He said he could feel I upset but couldn’t reach me.”  
“You are very lucky to have someone so strongly bonded to you, I envy you,” she told me kissing my head. 

A short while later we arrived at Ben’s. Normality returned as Ben ran out to greet us, an action he had been doing for every visit for four years. I picked him up spinning him around, he was still very small, but I had begun to grow taller. Lifting him was quite easy, and he enjoyed me spinning him. Laughing and kissing my cheek when I put him down. 

Instead of greeting me with words he pressed our foreheads together and projecting his joy and an image of my smiling face. I sent back my happiness and the sound of his laughter. 

The next hour I spent curled up on the sofa with Ben, while Mother explained to Leia, Han, and Ben, what she had already told me. It was clear that they were shocked. Hearing it again somehow made it more real. It wasn’t until near the conversations end that she mentioned anything I didn’t already know. 

“Ben is going to go and train with his Uncle soon, correct?” Mother asked, Leia nodded. “Do you believe that the offer of training Brendol will still stand when he learns of Brendol’s heritage?” she asked.  
“What?!” I exclaimed, “When did he say he would train me?” I asked. Mother looked at me a slightly sad expression on her face.  
“When he first met you, Leia told me that Luke said he would happy to train you, I just did not tell you in case you hoped for it and then circumstances prevented it,” she explained.  
“Oh.” Ben grasped my hand tighter.  
“I am sure Luke will still be happy to teach Brendol” Leia responded, she turned to me smiling. “After all, it doesn’t change anything about Brendol, does it?” she said smiling reassuringly at me. Ben was practically vibrating with excitement.  
“That means we will still be together!” he exclaimed. I smiled at my Ben, my sun.  
“Yeah,” I said softly. 

Ben who had been sitting next to me, leaning against me, turned and launched himself at me. The hug overbalanced me, and I fell back onto the sofa. Ben was straddling my chest, he hugged me tightly.  “I’ll get to see you every day! And we will learn together! And we can be best friends forever.” Ben babbled into my ear. I held him tightly.  
“It will be amazing,” I responded softly. Suddenly Ben sat up, fear in his eyes,  “There will be other children there,” he said sounding horrified. “You’ll still be my best friend, right? You won’t want another one?” he asked sounding scared. It was amazing how quickly Ben could go from happy to scared. I shook my head laughing, this didn’t reassure him, he bit his lip looking like was about to cry.  “Oh come here!” I cried reached for his shoulders and dragging him back down. “By the maker Ben, you are so stupid sometimes. Of course, I don’t want a new best friend.” I told him. “I’ve got you!” I exclaimed. Ben sniffed.  
“But maybe you will meet someone who you will like more…” he said, still sounding scared. I pushed hm back slightly.  “Listen, one I have never met someone who I like in anyway more than you, two we have a stronger force bond than lots of people find in their whole lives, the idea that I could even think about discarding someone who understands me so fully is absurd. And three we both know that whatever happens, we are going to be together always. Remember?” I reminded him, thinking back on the visions. Ben’s eyes welled with tears, but this time, he was smiling, he nodded.  
“Yeah,” he said before throwing his arms around my neck again. I hugged Ben firmly.  
“So don’t go having silly ideas, okay? You’re not getting rid of me that easily!” I teased. Ben pulled back and looked me in the eye.  
“Kay,” he said and kissed my cheek. I kissed his forehead.  
Oh my silly Ben, how could I ever leave you? You’re my sun. 

***  
The month leading up to Ben’s birthday was amazing. So different in many ways to my life before. I lived with Mother in the apartment, and in started to feel more like a home than our old house ever did. Mother cooked, I didn’t know she could cook, she could cook well. Mother helped me with homework from my tutors whenever I need it, no longer restricted by Father. Mother took me out to dinner and let me have ice cream for pudding. We watched the holo drama’s that before I had only been able to watch with Ben. 

Mother tucked me in every night and woke me up every morning. She laughed a lot, so did I, only ever used to laugh with Ben. It was different, it was nice. Without this month, I would have missed Mother less when I had to leave. But, that was not a bad thing. If I had only the memories of when we used to live with him resentment might have started to grow, but this month, and the two weeks after it before we left, allowed me to see how much she truly cared for me. And how much she loved me. 

***  
It was a two weeks after Ben’s tenth Birthday. I was standing in front of the Millennium Falcon with Ben. We were leaving, Han and Chewie were taking us to go train to become Jedi. I was scared and excited. 

Mother knelt before me and cupped my face in her hands.  
“Now my darling boy, I want you to go do your best, and I want you to be happy. Make sure you call me as soon as you arrive okay?” she told me fussing over my clothes, smoothing them down.  
“Yes Mother” I replied smiling. She kissed my forehead and gathered me into a hug.  
“I know you will make me so proud Bren,” she murmured. After we pulled away, took Ben’s hands in her own.  
“Now Ben I am relying on you to look after my son, can I trust you to do this?” she asked smiling. Ben grinned enthusiastically.  
”Of course!” Mother stood after pressing another kiss to my cheek.  
“I will miss you my Bren,” she told.  
“I will miss you, Mother,” I replied. I didn’t cry, neither did she. But I think it was close. 

Leia came up to us, she knelt.  
“Now you two, I expect you to behave and go to bed on time and be good for Luke. I also expect you to look out for each other, and be there for each other.” she addressed both of us. She turned to me, “Make sure Ben knows your there, and that he stops sometimes and has a moment of peace.” she instructed. Leia pulled me into a hug and I hugged back tightly. “I am going to miss you Brendol,” she told me.  
“Miss you too” I mumbled into her shoulder. 

“Now Ben, make sure Brendol always has something to smile about, and spends lots of his time laughing. And make sure you listen to what he says, because he really loves you.” she pulled him into a tight hug.  
“And remember how much we love you my Ben. If you ever need to come home even for a few days then just tell Luke and we will be there as fast as we can. Because nothing in this world is as important as you are Ben.” she promised. Ben nodded.  
“I am going to miss you, Mama,” he whispered, voice trembling. She leant back slightly to look him his eyes.  
“I am going to miss you more my lovely. What will I do know that there is no one to help me with cooking, or for me to help with work?” she asked teasingly. He threw himself into her chest.  
“Mama.”  
“Shhh, my special boy. I love you. I know that it is hard for you to go, but with Luke, you will be able to learn things I could never teach you. I love you Ben, and I am always with you through our bond.” she cooed rocking him.  
“I love you, Mama.” 

When they pulled away Ben wiped his eyes. I offered him my hand. 

We walked up to Falcons ramp. We both looked behind us and saw our Mothers waving us off. We waved one last time, before stepping onto the ramp. Though we were stepping into a place that we had both been many times before, we were also stepping into the unknown. Towards a place we had never been too, with people we had never met, and things that neither of us could have imagined. We were also stepping one step closer to all four visions of the future, uncertain in which direction each action took us. 

But this was also the path towards our new life together. And I knew that whatever happened I would never regret spending my life with Ben. 

Ben squeezed my hand. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. Then we walked up the ramp towards the future that seemed to be speeding towards us. 

Hand in hand, like we always would be.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you really enjoyed my story! This is only about a third of the overarching plot that I had planned! So once my exams are truly over I will start to write the rest! There were also some bonus scenes that never got finished (with Poe!) that I will also post! 
> 
> Feel free to find me on Tumblr and talk to me about this story or anything Kylux related at @thequeenoffish . I always like meeting new people and making new friends! Also go give my artist @drappersky some love, as her art is simply adorable! 
> 
> Also anyone who can tell me where Hux first displays force sensitivity wins a drabble!

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the lovely drappersky! You can find her on tumblr!


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